Mel & El Have Things to Tell

Our Superbowl

2012-02-06T10:00:00.002-05:00

I'm Madonna. This is how my face does.

El: Hey, Mel?

Mell: Yeah, El?

El: Did you see The Superbowl last night?

Mel: If by "The Superbowl" you mean "Madonna's halftime show on my DVR about twenty minutes ago" then yes.

El: Wasn't she Ah-Mazing?

Mel: She was. There are no other 80 year old pop stars that know how to put on a show like that.

El: Obviously there was the usual late-career Madonna awkwardness...

Mel: ...the unflattering, slightly boxy, workout-like choreography...

El: ...the children's show-esque smiling while doing a chicken-ride on the back of an LMFAO dude...
Mel: ...the inclusion of yoga for no particular reason...

El: ...and I adore Cee Lo but he is no replacement for that fine looking black Jesus in the Like A Prayer video.

Mel: I was hoping she would close it out by burning a football field full of crosses.

El: She's not an idiot.

Mel: Right. Instead, she evaporated like the Wicked Witch and left us with the message "World Peace".

El: It was a collision of a lot of...ideas.

Mel: But she is really good at exercising and lip-syncing and we will always have the love for her.

El: We will! AND the judgment!

Mel: Love and judgment go hand in hand.

El: It must be really fun to be in a relationship with you.
Mel: You would know.
El: I would.

Ooh! One more thing.

2012-01-30T10:00:00.001-05:00

We had the total pleasure of doing an interview with Alexandra Gray of The Gloc - Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy - and wanted to share it with you. We chat about our most embarrassing gigs, how everyone thinks we're a lesbian couple and, of course, Bridesmaids!

Check it out right now or save it until you're procrastinating doing whatever it is you're supposed to be doing. That's the only way we ever get stuff done.

THE INTERVIEW!

Also, if you haven't already, you should totally watch the first three episodes of our nutsy web series. If you HAVE watched it, you should now forward this email to your five favorite people and tell THEM to watch it. God, we're pushy.

www.TheMelAndElShow.com

Nobbs

2012-01-23T10:00:00.005-05:00

"Why do Meryl Streep and I have to have careers at the same time?"

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: Did you watch the Golden Globes?

Mel: I did. It's one of the only awards shows I can still manage to get through.

El: Agreed.

Mel: The love of our lives, Madonna, was a total freak show as usual.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 23

2012-01-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 23

DELUSIONS OF MANDEUR \'di-'loo-zhuhnz uhv 'man-jer\ n: a false belief (common in paranoia) that your future partner is going to be much more powerful, influential and perfect than they could ever actually be.

Bey-by Crazy

2012-01-09T13:28:00.000-05:00

Who wouldn't want to give birth while holding hands with this person? No one wouldn't.

Mel: El?

El: Yes, Mel?
Mel: Did you hear that Beyonce and Jay-Z had their Bey-by?

Vocabulary Lesson Number 22

2012-01-03T10:00:00.004-05:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 22*

* Today's lesson is more of a suggestion based on the unbelievable boredom we currently feel with seeing "LOL" written ever.
It's a New Year. We need to switch it up.

LOTO \'lot-oh\ n: acronym which stands for Laughing On The Outside most often called upon to be used during electronic communication. Variations include LOTI (Laughing On The Inside) and L (Laughing) which we believe is all that's necessary when experiencing humor. Alternatively, one could just choose to physically laugh and move on. Or write "ha".

Thank You (or, our Holy S#!t Moments)

2011-12-27T10:00:00.006-05:00

Dance! Mel in a maternity snowsuit. El in a hooker's pajamas.

We don't toss around the word "Holy" the way Miss Oprah does. I mean, she has a meditation room and lunches with the Dalai Lama so we figure she's earned it. The closest we get to a Holy Moment is when we're on stage together performing songs like "Well Hung Fetus" and "I Wanna Marry A Dolphin". Maybe we should call them "Holy S#!t Moments". They are what make us happy and joyful and, we guess, that's as close to "Holy" as we're gonna get. Works for us! We've been lucky to have a whole lot of those moments this year and we have loved every single second of them. Except for that one show where...naw, we're grateful for that one, too.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 21

2011-12-19T10:00:00.003-05:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 21

ITCHUATION \'ich-oo-'ey-shuh'n\ noun: shorthand for "itchy situation".

LAST SHOW FOREVER!

2011-12-12T10:00:00.000-05:00

It would be exactly like this. But a baby.

El: Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: Do you realize that this Friday is our LAST SHOW FOREVER?

Mel & El-prah's Favorite Things!

2011-12-05T13:01:00.000-05:00

We figure since Oprah is so busy with her new network and having various "Aha Moments" and "Holy Moments" with her new projects, we would do her the favor of taking over this part of her empire. We're sure she doesn't mind.

So, here are a selection of products and services (many offering special MEL & EL DISCOUNTS!) that are particularly dear to our hearts. They are all the kind of Awesome Small Businesses that you can feel good about supporting. We hope you'll check them out over this holiday season!

We have the best idea!

2011-11-28T10:00:00.004-05:00

Um...hi. How are you?

We totally want you to take the next five minutes to watch an episode of THE MEL & EL SHOW.

It's like a teeny tiny sitcom featuring US and we think it's right up your alley.

Wanna be COOL?

2011-11-14T10:00:00.003-05:00

They seem very cool with their outfits.

Oh, dip! Here is what we have to say about being cool:

Mel is pregnant. What's gonna happen?

2011-11-07T10:00:00.001-05:00

Beyonce needs to stop stealing Mel's maternity clothes.

El: Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: I just told everyone that you're pregnant.

Mel: WHAT?

Mel & El-A in Pictures

2011-10-31T10:00:00.001-04:00

So, we finally went out to LA and did our thang. It was a whirlwind of old friends (terrific), jet lag (not the cutest) and In 'n Out burgers (best eaten after midnight and then forgotten the next day). Here are a few completely random highlights as we continue to be absolutely terrible at taking all the right pictures of a trip. Seriously, we need help. Here goes:

During our first five minutes in LA, we saw Bret from Flight of the Conchords which obviously made our lives. The usually blase El totally geeked out and snapped this picture of him while Mel was peeing. Mel is glad she missed the part where El took this picture.

If you squint, you can see the famous sign. This was our view from our first pad in Hollywood. Apparently, the corner we were staying on was famous for trannie (er...trans-people) hookers. So, we felt like we were right back in NYC!

Vocabulary Lesson Number 20

2011-10-24T10:00:00.001-04:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 20

NEGATUDE \'neg-uh-'tyood\ noun: shorthand for "negative attitude".

Music! Hijinx! Maybe a vibrator!

2011-10-17T10:00:00.003-04:00

After a successful Kickstarter campaign helped along by many of YOU fabulous people and the incredible work of all the fine folks at production company Clear Metrics, we are pleased as pie (very pleased) to present THE MEL & EL SHOW!

The first three episodes are available RIGHT NOW at www.TheMelAndElShow.com and we suggest the following:

What is a Couch Clip?

2011-10-10T10:00:00.004-04:00

Dearest Dears,

What is a Couch Clip? It is the term we are using to describe these super simple, delicious, bite-sized nuggets of Mel & El-ness that you can currently enjoy on The You Tube in advance of the premiere of our highly anticipated (by our Moms) web series THE MEL & EL SHOW. Isn't that exciting? (Our Moms think it is, so...there).

Here is one of the first Couch Clips entitled "We Made Some 'Sodes":

Know a person in LA? Be their new best friend!

2011-10-03T10:00:00.000-04:00

It's all happening.

Dearest People,

We are so excited to announce that we'll be heading to LA in two weeks to premiere MEL & EL: OUR TIME OF THE MONTH on the West Coast. Woo-freaking-hoo! Do you live in the LA-area? Do you know anyone that does? Maybe you can FORWARD THIS EMAIL along to them. There will be an enormous amount of slightly inappropriate funny. For ONE NIGHT ONLY. Run - don't walk - to your calendar device to make a note!

El is away...

2011-09-26T10:00:00.001-04:00

...and so Mel feels wistful and bored due to their bizarre and unmanageable co-defriendency. In honor of this, Mel (me) wants to share a photo of the two of them from their bizarre and unmanageable adolescence when they played Vampire husband (El) and wife (Mel) in a musical entitled The Vampires Strike Out. It's a wonder that show never came to The Great White Way. In addition to the general ridiculousness of it all, please enjoy El's tight-rolled pants and all of Mel's Mom's costume jewelery that was clearly piled on for this endeavor.

Also, Mel (me) feels compelled to mention that this photo is not black and white because we were performers at the turn of the century, but because it was a trendy thing to do with theatrical pictures in the 90's. The nineteen nineties.

Mel & El-A

2011-09-19T10:00:00.001-04:00

It's finally happening. WE'RE GOING TO L.A., PEOPLE! We're gonna get off of that bus with our suitcases in hand and fifteen cents in our pockets and see if we can make it. Oh, wait. No, we're not. We're just gonna fly there and do MEL & EL: OUR TIME OF THE MONTH for the people in the great State of California and hypnotize them with our ridiculous antics.

It's ONE NIGHT ONLY, on Wednesday, October 19th at a lovely joint called M Bar.

Also, feel free to tell everyone you know in the L.A.-area about OUR SHOW. We promise they will literally have the best night of their life.

We'll probably come back with boob jobs and Botox. Except that we totally won't. But feel free to picture that for the next few weeks.

You deserve all the happiness and joy.

2011-09-12T10:00:00.000-04:00

This kind of Segway annoys the pants off of us.

But we love the other kind (see below).

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?
El: We got a LOT of guesses to our BIG ANNOUNCEMENT CONTEST!
Mel: Ooh. Did anybody guess correctly?
El: I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you.
Mel: Well, that would put quite a damper on our next show...which is happening THIS Thursday in THREE DAYS!
El: Nice segue.
Mel: Thanks. I live for a nice segue.
El: Remind everyone that they deserve all the happiness and joy that only a Mel & El show can bring.
Mel: I think you just did.
El: Awesome.

Mel: We're being very efficient today. I like this day.
El: Me too.

Contest instructions:
Email melandel@melandel.com
Subject line: My Guess
In the body of the email, tell us what you think the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT is, and see us after the show to claim your prize if you were right.

Mel & El: Our Time of the Month

returns to 92YTribeca

THIS THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15TH!

Click here to make a reservation!

Mel & El: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

When: Thursday, September 15th at 7:00PM

Where: 92YTribeca, 200 Hudson Street at Canal, NYC

Tickets: $15, NO food or drink minimums

(but CRAZY delicious food and drink available!)

Reservations here

Featuring our adorable composer Patrick Spencer Bodd playing every instrument!

Click HERE to make your reservation!

Madonna's (and Mel & El's) Announcement

2011-09-07T17:17:00.000-04:00

Don't Madonna's cheekbones look like they want to make an announcement?

Mel: Hey, El?
El: Yes, Mel?
Mel: We need something to entice people to come to the September 15th edition of Our Time of the Month.
El: Besides the fact that we didn't have an August show because we were performing on a gay cruise?
Mel: Yes.
El: Besides the fact that there won't be an October show because we will be taking Our Time of the Month to Los Angeles?
Mel: Yes.
El: Tell them about the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Chips Ahoy and Cheez-Whiz

2011-08-29T10:00:00.001-04:00

Dear New Yorkers and also The World,

We're so glad the destruction was less than expected, and now we've about had it with this hurricane. We don't need to hear anything more about it. Not from the news (except to learn when the subways will begin to run) and not from Facebook (except when we post a link about this blog post on Facebook). But, really, then...we're done. Done.

Ladies About Town

2011-08-22T10:00:00.001-04:00

Obviously, we would like to see you at the next big, fat Mel & El: Our Time of the Month on Thursday, September 15th at 92YTribeca. It will be the bees knees. If you'd like to see our faces prior to that, you can come over to our apartments for lunch OR you can visit us at the following shows about town:

It's here. It's queer. And we have pictures.

2011-08-15T10:00:00.001-04:00

Hello People!

We just returned from two weeks floating around on a Gay Boat in Europe. There is literally nothing like a day wandering around Barcelona and returning to a giant cruise ship just in time to curl your hair and do a show for hundreds of delightful gay men (and three terrific lesbians).

Here are quite a few pictures to give you a taste AND please join us at our next MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month on September 15th at 92YTribeca to hear all the fantastically gory details.

XO,

Mel & El

The equivalent of a "My Name Is" tag on a gay cruise. This is Day 1.

Conversations While Cruising - Part 2

2011-08-08T10:00:00.003-04:00

This is almost exactly what we wore while visiting Tunisia.

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: Tell me the one thing that has been even better than visiting Rome, Florence, Nice, Tunisia, Barcelona and Ibiza?

El: That's Bar-the-lona and Ibi-tha.

Mel: Yeah, yeah.

El: Um...the fact that you got to visit all of those places with me?

Conversations While Cruising - Part 1

2011-08-01T10:00:00.018-04:00

And, to your left, you will see a bunch of rocks where people once did stuff.

El: Hey, Mel?
Mel: Yes, El?

El: I can't believe we're in Rome and about to set off on a gay cruise to many European destinations!

Mel: It's very exciting.

El: What should we be sure to put on our agenda?

Vocabulary Lesson Number 19

2011-07-25T10:00:00.002-04:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 19

PISSASTER \pis-'zah-'ster\ noun: when the simple act of urinating goes awry.

Fire Island Virgins

2011-07-18T10:00:00.002-04:00

Somehow, in all of our years in NYC and all of our years of gay-proximity, we had never been to Fire Island. It is pretty darn magical. We only got to see a small bit of it as we were busy performing at Brandon Cutrell's Broadway at the Beach (which was a total blast!), but here are a few moments for your viewing pleasure:


The dock at Cherry Grove, Fire Island. Greeted with a Rainbow Flag.

BHP (Before Harry Potter)

2011-07-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

All we can think about is going to see the final Harry Potter movie, but before that happens we will go be hilarious and slightly inappropriate in the following places:

Monday, July 11th at 9PM at The Ice Palace, Cherry Grove, Fire Island - www.grovehotel.com

And then...

Baby, you're a...

2011-07-05T10:00:00.000-04:00

Mel: El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: Since the Fourth of July, I have been plagued.

El: What are you talking about?

Vocabulary Lesson Number 18

2011-06-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 18

SNARKINSON'S DISEASE \'snahr-kin-'suhnz dih-'zeez\ noun: when a person simply cannot help behaving in a sarcastic and cynical manner.

We tease.

2011-06-20T10:00:00.000-04:00

Mel is sure that this is a trailer.

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: I'm excited to share the thing about our new web series.

El: You mean the teaser?

Mel: Yes. But it's called a trailer.

Planning Ahead

2011-06-13T11:28:00.001-04:00

We like to spread the Mel & El wealth (Mel & El-th?) all over town and across the Universe. This is the part where we tell you about some events going on where you can see fantastic performers, support terrific causes and also look at our bright and shiny faces.

Go to Mel & El's Show Listings to read terrifically worded blurbs about these events and get tickets!

The Greenwich Village Follies

Tuesday, June 28th

Vocabulary Lesson Number 17

2011-06-06T10:00:00.001-04:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 17

SUREGASM \'shur-gaz-'uhm\ noun: A sexual partner with whom an orgasm is a sure thing.

Two funny bitches, two days away.

2011-05-31T10:00:00.001-04:00

We just did a very exciting interview with the 92StreetY in advance of

Mel & El: Our Time of the Month premiering at their Tribeca location

THIS THURSDAY, June 2nd!

Click here to read the interview.

Then, click here to make a reservation!

Mel & El: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

When: Thursday, June 2nd at 7:30PM

Where: 92YTribeca, 200 Hudson Street at Canal, NYC

Tickets: $15, NO food or drink minimums, Reservations here

Featuring special guest comedian Sue Funke!

And our adorable composer Patrick Spencer Bodd playing every instrument!

Click HERE to make your reservation!

Join the hilarious musical comedy duo Mel & El for their pee-your-pants-funny show! Chosen as the Village Voice's BEST OF NYC and GO Magazine's Best of NY Comedy, prepare yourself for loads of the original music and comedy you've come to know and love from the two funniest bitches in town.

The Actual Rapture is in 10 Days!

2011-05-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

This is one of the top images that appears if you Google "cheese, sex, correct".

Do with it what you will.

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: We were not sucked up into the heavens during The Rapture.

If We Had A Dollar For Every Doppelganger...

2011-05-16T10:00:00.002-04:00

Dear Friends,

So, we've told you about our amazing Chicago-an Doppelgangers who we lovingly refer to as Other Mel & El as well as these lovely young ladies who we call Other Other Mel & El. Then there are, of course, Other Famous Mel & El. We'd now like to introduce you to Doll Mel & El who showed up on our Google alert due to their names and who are currently creepin' the crap out of us:

Clicky The Buttons For Happiness

2011-05-08T10:00:00.000-04:00

We're going to keep this short and simple.

Our website finally went through puberty.

Check out the new MelAndEl.com!

While you're at it, check out the additional funny

on our new Official Fan Page on Facebook!

Then, if you're in the NYC/Tristate area, make your reservation for

Mel & El: Our Time of the Month in 3D* at its new location!

Does the word "new" sound totally ridiculous to you now?

It does to us.

Our Cycle Is Back On Track!

2011-05-02T10:00:00.004-04:00

Dear Lovely People,

The next MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month is going to happen very soon. All the details are right below the only interesting interview you'll ever read with a Personal Trainer. Check out our buddy who is currently kicking our butts all over NYC and see why we actually look forward to working out these days:

A Very Serious Interview With...
Mark Fisher of Mark Fisher Fitness!

Rainy Days And Mondays

2011-04-25T10:01:00.001-04:00

Dear People,

I never thought I'd be someone who talked about the weather, but I do. A lot. I talk about what the weather has been, what it currently is and what it might be. I talk about the different people who talk about the weather and whether or not they have any idea what they're talking about (answer: no, they don't). I consult NY1 and Weather.com before I make a move. I might even text a friend and say "How is it out there?" while I debate my t-shirt-with-a-heavy-jacket vs. long-sleeved-shirt-with-a-lighter-jacket-plus-a-scarf option.
Read more »

Snatched

2011-04-18T10:00:00.001-04:00

Mel: El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: I had a dream last night that I ate bread.

El: Get out of me. Last night, I literally had a dream about eating a sandwich.

Mel: Do me a favor and do not describe that sandwich at all.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 16

2011-04-11T10:00:00.002-04:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 16

GAYJA VU \'gey-zhah 'voo\ noun: The uncanny or eerie experience of being sure you've met a particular gay man when you haven't. Or have you?

Sand and Glitter: A Gay Cruise Photo Essay

2011-04-04T10:00:00.003-04:00

The Ask Me, Tell Me military-themed T-dance. We could totally be in the Army.

Actually, they could totally be in the Army.

Premiere Picture Porn!

2011-03-28T10:00:00.001-04:00

Here are a sampling of pictures from the premiere of The Mel & El Show! We can't wait to share the actual episodes with you. Soon. Soon...

Is That A Tampon On Your Cupcake...

2011-03-21T10:00:00.004-04:00

...or are you just happy to see me?

We like to rock it super classy style here in The World of Mel & El so on Friday at the premiere of our brand new web series, The Mel & El Show, we had the ever-brilliant Adam Beckworth of A Little Somethin' Sweet make us these:

Read more »

Stay. Tuned.

2011-03-14T10:00:00.005-04:00

(I'm super relaxed. Mel should put on a baseball cap and squint.

Then she'd be super relaxed. Like me.)

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: I'm so 'whelmed with all our upcoming stuff.

El: Don't be 'whelmed, be excited!

Mel: Is that the follow-up to Bobby McFerrin's one and only hit song?

El: You seriously need to update your pop culture references.

How We (Never) Learned To Drive

2011-03-07T09:19:00.000-05:00

(Miss Daisy is frustrated because Hoke doesn't know how to drive. Just like Mel & El.)

We know it sounds entirely nutballs, but neither of us knows how to drive. To be clear, we're not saying that we don't like to drive or we prefer to have other people drive. We are saying we don't possess the skill of The Driving. We know we're very elderly and that this deficit makes us weirdly immature, but it is true. And there's no way to fix it.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 15

2011-02-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 15

BLIGHTING \'blahyt-ing\ noun: When the harsh fluorescent light in a dressing room is a blight on your self image.*

I was feeling pretty good about myself until the Bloomingdale's blighting made me look like a cottage cheese sculpture.

*For the record, we think you look fantastic all the time.

Premieres! Benefits! Skits! Privates!

2011-02-20T21:40:00.006-05:00

Dear Favorite Person,

Do you know what time it is? List time! (Who's excited? Besides Mel?)

This month there will be no MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month but don't cry because we WILL be doing nine thousand other things. We're going to use this list to tell you about them while referring to ourselves in the third person:

• The Mel & El Show Web Series Premiere!

Shmalentine's Day

2011-02-14T10:00:00.009-05:00

Valentine’s Day, like most holidays, is one of those times of the year when you’re meant to account for what you’ll be doing, where you’ll be doing it and who you’ll be doing it to. This could make a girl feel instantly anxious. V-Day creeps up on you just when you’ve finally started to come to terms with your SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and to get rid of your Christmastime bloat (be it credit card related or mid-section related or both). There are lots of ways to interface with this holiday and we’d like to outline them for you as a means to soothe your nervous stomach:

Love It or Loathe It?

2011-02-07T10:00:00.017-05:00

The Black Eyed Peas

(After sitting through The Superbowl half-time show,
we couldn't spend one more second looking at the actual group.)

I got a feeling...that our souls are rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

We know this post is called "Love It or Loathe It?" and that it's supposed to give the public an opportunity to weigh in on a topic while assuming a level of objectivity ourselves. But it's our blog and we can do whatever we like. And so...we loathe it.

Official Announcement

2011-01-31T10:00:00.009-05:00

(Right after we tackle codefriendency, we're obviously going to move on to eating disorders.)

M: Hello! As many of you know, I'm Mel.

E: And I'm El.

M: And we have been best friends since we were twelve years old.

E: But lately things have gotten a little more...intense.

Dangling

2011-01-24T10:00:00.004-05:00

(Michael McKean is acting his face off just for you.)

Mel: El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: I'm going on a little vacation to Costa Rica this week.

El: I know that. I hope you have a great time!

Mel: And now I need to say my final goodbyes.

El: Why are you saying that so dramatically?

Mel: Just 'cause.

El: Spill it.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 14

2011-01-17T10:00:00.003-05:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 14

JEWCHE \'joosh\ noun: 1. A person - typically male - who happens to be Jewish and is also a total douchebag.*

You couldn't pay me a million dollars to go back to Hebrew School. I simply can't function when surrounded with that high a concentration of jewches.

(This baby looks like a very nice person. It is unlikely that he will grow up to be a jewche.)

*As we've mentioned before, we're Jewish so we feel comfortable being self-loathing, self-deprecating Jews. Please join with us in a fun way, not a Hitler-y way. Thanks.

Brought To You By WOMAN...Wait Up!

2011-01-10T10:00:00.003-05:00

Yes, that's a red bra wrapped around a woman's head. But, judge not. It's saving her life!

As we've mentioned, as children we created a faux-company called "Woman" which made all kinds of ridiculous items for your feminine parts. Now we're grown-ups who regret never having actually invented any of the asinine products we made up as twelve-year-old kids. With that, we introduce you to The Emergency Bra. Created by Dr. Elena Bodner, it's an actual bra that in case of emergency can quickly transform into a face mask to protect the wearer from harmful airborne particles. It's no joke.

We feel like in an actual horrifying emergency we'd probably be having a panic attack and forget to remove our bras and put them on our faces. But that's just us.

Would you wear The Emergency Bra? (Are you wearing The Emergency Bra right now?)

Mouth wide open equals fun.

2011-01-03T10:00:00.004-05:00

(Mel & El totally in Times Square for the New Year's Eve celebration. If you squint, you can see Dick Clark.)

Dear Lovelies,

Twenty eleven is here and in full effect. What's it gonna be like? We. Don't. Know. But we would like to discuss it with you in depth.

Here's the plan: meet us this Thursday, January 6th (in 3 days!) at Comix around 7:30PM. We'll sing some crazy-ass songs and tell you some crazy-ass things that have been going on and you can regale us with your predictions for this brand new decade.

Make a reservation by clicking here.

This next MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month will fulfill your New Year's resolutions to:

A) have more joy in your life!

B) save money - tickets are only $10 with NO food or drink minimum!

C) lose weight!

We're not one hundred percent sure how the show will help you lose weight. But if you come and choose to order a Diet Coke instead of a regular Coke or a delicious salad instead of the chicken fingers, you'll definitely be on the right track.

Do you want to screw up your New Year's resolutions by the second week in January? We didn't think so. Save yourself by making a reservation here and/or telling all of your adorable friends to do the same.

Mel & El

P.S. Come celebrate your birthday (or any special event with us) and receive a personalized rap for the guest of honor! Email us at melandel@melandel.com for details. It will be terrific.

P.P.S. Check out an interview we just did with the comedy website Yuletide Snapper here. We talk about stuff.

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Robin Gelfenbien!

Thursday, January 6th, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here

Balls. Dropping.

2010-12-27T10:00:00.002-05:00

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: It's almost the New Year!

Mel: You know what that means?

El: Getting really wasted and staying up all night and having all the crazy things happen!

Mel: Yes, if by all of those words you mean having a nice glass of wine, watching the ball drop and heading home before it gets too late.

El: Right. I always forget how elderly we are...

Mel: ...and then one finds another weird hair growing out of one's chin...

El: ...and one remembers....

Mel: Happy New Year!

El: Yeah, yeah. Tell everyone to come to our January show. It's gonna be fantastically fun.

Mel: As much fun as our New Years Eve?

El: More fun, Mel. More. Fun.

People, all the pertinent details are below. Make a res. If you want to celebrate a birthday or other thing with us and receive a personalized rap, email us at melandel@melandel.com for details! 'Twill be the greatest experience of your life.

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Robin Gelfenbien!

Thursday, January 6th, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

Don't Ask, Don't Mel & El

2010-12-20T10:00:00.006-05:00

We're beyond thrilled that on Saturday legislation was passed to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell for all of the reasons that there ever were. We have nothing smarter to say than the very smart people that discuss the issues of the day, so we'll sum it up with:

1. Hooray!

2. It's about damn time.

3. Onward ho!

In honor of All Things Equality, here's the shot from our recent NOH8 Campaign photo shoot in D.C. Maybe you'll check out the work they're doing. Or look into incredible organizations helping LGBT youth like GLSEN...

Happy Day,

Mel & El

Vocabulary Lesson Number 13

2010-12-13T10:15:00.001-05:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 13

GAYGLE \'gay-guhl\ noun: 1. A group of homosexuals. 2. A bunch of boys who like boys. 3. A gaggle of gays.

When they first looked at this picture (below) of the gaygle, Mel & El figured the "ladies" in front were drag queens. Upon second look, they realized it was them.

Are you a part of a gaygle? Do you want to be? Do you understand why a group of lesbians is not called a gaygle? (We're not sure. We just don't think it works.) Please share your feelings with us via Blogger below or on The Magical Tweet Machine!

Congratulations

2010-12-06T10:45:00.005-05:00

(Kate & Allie stopped by to say that they think it's time for another set of women to have antics on TV but without the wide horizontal stripes and shoulder padded blazers.

Also, they want you to check this out.)

Congratulations!

You are currently reading the very last blog post saying that we have "X" amount of time left in our Kickstarter campaign because at the strike of 5:09PM on Tuesday, December 7th the campaign will be OVER.

A couple of days ago, through the support of Remarkable Backers, we hit our $10,000 goal. And we are beyond thrilled about it. What's true, though, is our actual costs to make the Mel & El-isodes are quite a bit higher than that so we're using our final hours of campaign-ness to continue getting the message out.

Without giving too much of the 'sode plots away, if you know anyone that loves cheese, gay nightclubs and/or madcap hijinx, you should definitely forward this email to them so they can get in on the action.

Also, if you want to help make us the popular kids in school, just click here to nominate "Mel & El" for Best Musical Comedy Act at the ECNY Awards. You literally write your email address & "Mel & El" down and you're DONE. It takes 20 seconds! Easy! (And, hey, if you want suggestions for who to write in for the other awards, just let us know.)

We'll be back in January with a brand new MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month.

Until then - enjoy!

XO
Mel & El

Fabulous things for all!

2010-12-02T09:15:00.000-05:00

Guess what?

We did it! We made our Kickstarter goal! One particular Remarkable Backer was SO sick of getting our incessant updates that he pledged $500 and put us over the top at about 6PM last night. An endless amount of THANK YOU to you all!

We are thrilled and overjoyed and now we get to follow through with all of our reward promises. CD's and Raps and Fabulous Things for all!

However, there's a secret we've been keeping until now:
the actual budget of the project is $15,000.

We know! It's nuts!

Kickstarter encouraged us to be relatively conservative in setting our goal lest we not make it and get diddly squat and that's exactly what we did. So now we have to use this bonus time to try to make up the difference!

We realize that you, the Remarkable Backers, are the choir and we shouldn't spend time and energy preaching to you. But we want to say that if you were planning on passing our project along to other PTRs (Potential Remarkable Backers), you should still do so. We need them! Here's the link: http://kck.st/bZpxXq!

We have 5 days left and we shan't squander it. We shan't! We're sorry to that one particular Remarkable Backer but we will HAVE to continue the updates. We will try to make them less frequent and slightly less annoying.

We will dream the impossible dream, etc.

XO
Mel & El

P.S. In the pic below, Mel & El are clearly looking at their producer and saying "Come again? The budget is WHAT???"

P.P.S. Our last show of the year is TOMORROW! If you're in the NYC area, click HERE to make a res. It's gonna be goooooood.

What can we do for YOU?

2010-11-29T10:35:00.000-05:00

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: 'Tis the season of giving.

Mel: I wish I knew where this was going...

El: And we've been making so many requests of late, that I want to give back to our people!

Mel: That's lovely, El!

El: What do you think they want?

Mel: I have NO idea!

El: Let's just ask!

Mel: Excellent. But, first, let's bullet point our Holiday Wishes for the very last time - just in case there are 2 1/2 people out there that don't know about them!

El: You're better with a list. Go for it!

Hi! It's Mel. I'm here to make a list of the things we wish people would put in our Jew Stockings this year for Christmas. I'm gonna make this list using letters instead of numbers cause I'm feeling craaaaaazy today!

A) The very last MEL & EL: OUR TIME OF THE MONTH of the year is this FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3rd! That's right, the show is usually on Thursdays but we're doing this one on a Friday so more of you can come out and play with us. We'll be joined by Special Guest Ben Lerman. He's terrific! Make your reservation by clicking HERE! Cause we want YOU to be there!

B) In just 2 clicks on the computer machine you could NOMINATE US for a fancy comedy award! Click HERE and write "Mel & El" in for BEST MUSICAL COMEDY ACT! We'd be honored just to be nominated. Really.

C) Only 8 DAYS LEFT for us to raise the $850 left on our Kickstarter Campaign! If you can forward this email to your friends & loved ones we'd be most grateful! Help us spread the word! The Webisodes Must. Be. Made.

Now, what do you want in your Jew Stocking this year? Tell us! We'll totally work on it!

XO,

Mel (& El, too!)

P.S. Book a group of 6 or more at our holiday show & you will receive a Personalized Holiday Rap from us! Feel free to also celebrate your birthday or anniversary, too.

Jingle Mel's, Jingle El's, Jingle all the way!

2010-11-24T11:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Chrisma-kwanz-atheist-solstice-ukkah!

Our holiday show is upon us & we are doing it on a FRIDAY NIGHT (instead of our usual Thursday) so that more of you can come join us (since it's not a school night).

If you're looking for the perfect place to host your holiday party, you just found it! Book a group of 6 or more at our holiday show & you will receive a Personalized Holiday Rap from us! Feel free to also celebrate your birthday or anniversary, too.

So...if you're ready to get your Holiday on...

Our last show of the year is now on FRIDAY, December 3rd!

Make your reservation HERE before it's all sold out!

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Ben Lerman!

Friday, December 3rd, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

XO,

Mel & El

P.S. We have 12 MORE DAYS to make our Kickstarter goal and we have $2,319 of our $10,000 still to raise or we won't make ANY of it! Please forward this to your people and let them know that we will deliver some amazing prizes if they want to pledge!

Here's a pic from the web series shoot so far. See? It's real!

This time there's no stoppin' us, we're gonna do it!

2010-11-22T11:00:00.001-05:00

(Laverne & Shirley stopped by to say that they think Mel & El are the modern day Laverne & Shirley.

And they want you to see this.)

Dearest Friends,

Right now, as you read this, we are shooting a scene for our Web Series! The plot details are top secret but let's just say it involves a gay convention, a giant box of tampons and fondue. There are background actors, a dolly grip, a table full of "craft services" (food) and, generally, a lot of people working their cute butts off to make this happen. We are thankful!

We are shooting even though we haven't yet finished our Kickstarter Campaign! Have you checked it out? Have you watched our little videos on the site? Have you been waiting to make a pledge or been waiting to pass this along to your friends? Well, you still have time! For you wonderful people that already have, Holy Moses, we are thankful!

We've raised $7,306 and have $2,694 to go! We know you've heard this on every telethon in the land, but every dollar actually makes a difference. It's just the rules of mathematics, people. Plus you can get amazing prizes for donating (CD's! A song written just for you! Executive Producer credits!) and, for that, you will be very, very thankful.

Guess what? Thankful,

Mel & El

Also, if you're in NYC...

Our last show of the year is THURSDAY, December 2nd!

Make your reservation HERE before it's all sold out!

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Ben Lerman!

Thursday, December 2nd, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

You have no idea...

2010-11-14T23:17:00.009-05:00

...the bizarre antics we got ourselves into this past weekend in order to spread the word about Mel & El and our Kickstarter Campaign. All we can say is it involved "the circus". Please see accompanying video here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1765786718/mel-isodes-and-el-isodes/posts

We're only a few weeks away from the end of our Campaign Deadline of December 7th. We've had 88 AMAZING HUMAN BEINGS pledge us a total of $6,921! Almost 70% of the way to our goal! We wonder what we could do if even 20 or 30 or 40 more AMAZING HUMAN BEINGS were willing to pledge a few bucks for some great prizes!

That said, we are TOTALLY GOING FORWARD WITH PRODUCTION and will start to shoot at the end of next week. Not to get all "The Secret" up in here, but we have faith/belief/fingers crossed that those 20 or 30 or 40 more people will bring up the financial rear and make it possible for us to actually feed our incredible crew and make this thing happen in the best way possible.

In conclusion, thank you to the fabulous givers and thank you to everyone that has forwarded our link on to their circle of friends. We cannot say enough how much WE APPRECIATE IT.

(THE LINK = http://kck.st/bZpxXq = PASS IT ON!)

Yours in wacky comedy that we hope will make the world a slightly funnier place,

Mel & El

Casting Call

2010-11-08T11:15:00.008-05:00

Dear People,

"Casting Call" is not a cute euphemism for something-or-other to get you to read this blog.

You may have heard that we're in the midst of a ballsy Kickstarter Campaign to raise funds for our upcoming web series "The Mel & El Show". We're moving full steam ahead and are actually casting small roles & featured background. We would love to have you on our super-fun set to hang out with! We can eat M&Ms from the craft services table together! WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

TYPES: Looking for men & women, 20's-40's, to play various roles including including bizarre performance artists, patrons at a gay bar & eclectic audience members at a comedy show.
We ALSO need children of various ages, so if any of you want to come on set and bring your kids, this might work out beautifully!

DATES: November 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd (you do NOT need to be available every day)

If interested, please shoot us an email at melandel@melandel.com. Please include the dates & times you WOULD be available & attach a picture of your lovely self.

That's it! Easy!

If working on film shoots is not your thing but you'd still like to be involved, check out our Kickstarter Campaign - you can earn prizes or awards for a donation as little as $5!

Feel free to pass this along to your lovely friends, as well.

It's fun to make art,

Mel & El

Sad Puppies

2010-11-01T13:37:00.002-04:00

Dear Friend,

This puppy needs a home.

This child needs...some more.

These ladies need to make webisodes.

First of all, THANK YOU to all of you who have donated so far. We are beyond grateful and look forward to sending you all of your prizes & rewards! But the thing about Kickstarter is that we don't actually receive your pledges (and we can't send you your prizes) unless we make it to our fundraising goal!

We have to share that we received a very generous $1,000 donation last week from a total stranger. She had been receiving our email updates over the past year and just believes in what we're doing. Getting that donation filled us with energy & hope that we can do this. It also reminded us that we need to find a way to connect with people outside of our usual circle!

Maybe you know some people in far away lands like Wisconsin, Utah or...New Jersey who would like a little more female-friendly, slightly "inappropriate" comedy & music coming their way on the internet.

Maybe you can pass along our link to them and say "Hey, Utah Friend! Check out these ladies! For the cost of a Chicken Pad Thai you could get them closer to their dream!"

We don't know if they have Chicken Pad Thai in Utah, but you can change that part up depending on who you're talking to.

Click HERE to see our Kickstarter project or go to this link: http://kck.st/bZpxXq

Thanks and love,

Mel & El

And lastly, if you're in NYC...

The show is in 3 days! This THURSDAY, November 4TH!

We'll be celebrating EL'S BIRTHDAY, so make your res HERE

before it's all sold out!

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Margot Leitman!

Thursday, November 4th, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

El's Birthday and Our Rap Careers

2010-10-25T11:15:00.004-04:00

(Mel & El at El's 13th Birthday Party. Perms, poufs & profound adoration.)

EL'S BIRTHDAY SHOW IS UPON US!

The next edition of MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month at Comix happens to fall on November 4th: The Actual Birthday of El! We'll be celebrating with all of our favorite songs and may even have some surprises. Our Special Guest Comedian will be the hilarious and brilliant Margot Leitman (MTV, VH1, Conan).

We hope you will CLICK HERE to make a reservation!

If you want to celebrate YOUR birthday, anniversary, divorce or anything at our next show & want the celebrant to receive a Personalized Rap from Mel & El for the occasion, just email melandel@melandel.com to arrange all the fancy details!

And speaking of raps...

MEL & EL LAY DOWN NASTY BEATS!

Some people sing for their supper, but Mel & El rap! Mel & El are on a mission to raise 10K in the next 44 days for their brand-new Web Series. Through Kickstarter, all donations (even as small as $5) receive special prizes!

Perhaps you'll be moved to give a buck or two after you CLICK HERE to see the ladies rap their faces off!

Your List of Things To Do:

1. Make a res for Mel & El's next show on 11/4 at Comix

2. Tell all friends & loved ones to do same

3. Check out Mel & El's crazy-ass Kickstarter project & rap video

4. Tell all friends & loved ones to do same

5. Nap

Mel & El

A Note From Mel

2010-10-18T11:30:00.012-04:00

Hi friends,

I noticed that El went ahead and launched our Mega-Epic Webisode Kickstarter Project last week while I wasn't looking. Well, I'm back & I want to connect with you, the people, about this whole thing. In order to do this, I've brought my favorite tool in the world...a LIST!

1. THANKS!
A gigantic thank you to those that have already pledged a bit o' cash to our Kickstarter Project. We are eternally grateful & look forward to giving you your fancy prizes!

2. PRIZES!
For as little as a $5 pledge, you can get a fabulous prize. You can read all about the different prizes (including CD's, personalized songs, days on set & producer credits) here.

3. THE ARTS!
Giving to The Arts is a good thing to do. Jews would call it a Mitzvah. Other people might just call it "giving a donation & getting lots of credit for it". We are The Arts and we deeply appreciate your support.

4. NO MARATHONS!
We promise to never participate in any kind of marathon or other "a-thon" where we ask you to pledge money. We can barely handle the elliptical. This IS our marathon. And making you laugh is our goal. Help us save the future of hilarity, wit & the occasional penis joke...here.

5. MEL'S ANXIETY ISSUES!
We are the kind of people who wait until the last minute to do many things: buying tickets to shows, getting our roots done & donating to awesome Kickstarter projects. We are asking you to be stronger than us. And if you feel compelled to give a buck & receive your special prizes, that you do it sooner than later. Otherwise, Mel (me) is gonna have a full-on panic attack.

6. RISK-TAKING!
In order to remind you what it feels like to take a risk on something & have it be awesome, Mel (me) is including an absurd picture from last week of herself on a horse. This was the first barnyard animal Mel has ever "been on". Mel was really scared but she rode that horse (named Kismet, but she kept calling it Karma) for 2 hours. Mel conquered her fear. Maybe you fear things. Maybe donating a ducat or two to our Crazy-Ass-Webisode Kickstarter Project will help you overcome them.

7. PAYING IT FORWARD!
Basically, if you watch our Kickstarter Video & think we're on to something, please help us spread the word. You can post this link (http://kck.st/bZpxXq) to your Facebook or Twitter or Whatever Accounts or even forward this email to 9,000 of your closest friends. Did I mention we deeply appreciate it? 'Cause we do.

Saddle Sore,

Mel

The Official Launch

2010-10-11T20:45:00.001-04:00

Hello, everyone. Allow us to welcome you to the Official Launch!

What launch, you ask?

The Official Launch of our Kickstarter project!!!

What's a Kickstarter project, you ask?

Kickstarter is a way to fund creative ideas and ambitous endeavors.

What is OUR creative idea/ambitious endeavor, you ask?

(You ask a lot of excellent questions.)

We are working with an amazing team of geniuses to create a unique and hilarious web series!

Exciting, isn't it?

We gave ourselves a total of 60 days to raise $10,000. We know it seems like a lot, but look at the math:

We have 4,843 twitter followers. If they each give us $2.06, we will meet our goal.

We have 2,126 facebook friends. If they each give us $4.70, we will meet our goal.

We have 1,035 official "likes" on our "official" facebook fan page. If all of those Likers give us $9.66, we will meet our goal.

If 100 people give us $100, we will meet our goal.

If 200 people give us $50, we will meet our goal.

If 400 people give us $25, we will meet our goal.

If 1,000 people give us $10, we will meet our goal.

Know how many people we'd need to donate $15? 666.666. That's so Satan-y!

So there you have it. The numbers don't lie. Click HERE to check out our project, watch our fun little video and read through all of the rewards available for different pledge levels.

OH! And we forgot to mention, if the full $10,000 isn't pledged by our deadline, we don't get anything!

But we're not scared. We believe in you...

How To Relax

2010-10-04T11:30:00.000-04:00

(Mel's actual Healthy Hockey Pucks...er...Flax Muffins.)

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: What are you doing?

Mel: Making blueberry flax muffins with whey protein.

El: What? Really? Why would you do that?

Mel: Because they're healthy AND delicious.

El: What do they taste like?

Mel: Um...kind of like...if someone took a piece of cardboard and wiped a berry across it.

El: Great. Save some for me. (Don't save any for me).

Mel: But baking is my new way to relax.

El: Are you still panicking about your upcoming wedding?

Mel: Why would I be panicking less as it gets closer? You have no idea how to be an anxious person.

El: Oh, yes I do! I just have...different ways to relax.

Mel: Like what?

El: I'll tell you all about it at our show this Thursday when we premiere our self-lovin' song "Pamela Handerson"!

Mel: Why does everything have to be about sex with you?

El: Because everything is about sex.

Mel: Oh.

El: And flax.

Mel: Right!

El: Sex and Flax. I think we have the title for our next song.

The show is in 3 days! This THURSDAY, October 7TH!

Stop baking right now and make your reservation HERE before it's all sold out!

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Poppi Kramer!

Thursday, October 7th, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

The M-Word

2010-09-27T11:30:00.001-04:00

(Nope! That's not Mel OR El. It's a lady named Pamela Anderson.)

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: Guess what's coming up?

Mel: Our show.

El: Yes. But that's not what I was thinking about. I'll give you a hint: Dum - Dum - Da Duuuuuuuuum!

Mel: My wedding.

El: Correct!

Mel: What if you weren't bringing that up right now? It's making me perspire.

El: But it's happening! And it's gonna be so much fun!

Mel: I can't think about the wedding until after we premiere our brand new song about you-know-what.

El: You mean our masturbation empowerment song entitled "Pamela Handerson"?

Mel: Now you've said the m-word & everyone is unsubscribing us from their blogroll.

El: Oh, c'mon! Everybody has done it, does it or is doing it right now.

Mel: Yeah, our snarky & sarcastic banter is sooooooo hot.

El: I'm not one hundred percent enjoying your tone right now.

Mel: I blame you and your incessant wedding march singing!

El: Mel?

Mel: Yes, El!

El: You're very cute when you're exasperated.

Mel: I hate you.

El: I love you, too.

The show is THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7TH!

Make your reservation here ASAP 'cause this thing keeps selling out.**

MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Poppi Kramer!

Thursday, October 7th, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

** If you want to book a birthday group of 6 or more & have us create a personalized Rap for the Birthday Boy or Girl, please email us pronto at melandel@melandel.com & let us know! We're almost out of room for October Birthday Celebrations!

NOH8

2010-09-20T11:00:00.000-04:00

Today we're entirely excited and honored to be in Washington, D.C. at a shoot for the NOH8 Campaign. If you're not familiar with it, you can check out their website & the awesome pictures. Let us know what you think.

Love,
Mel & El

Love It or Loathe It?

2010-09-13T11:00:00.013-04:00

The Raccoon Earmuff

(Is this Thandie Newton? Has she gotten to the raccoon earmuff modeling portion of her career yet?)

Love it or loathe it? We don't quite know. But it's starting to get chilly out and in honor of the Fall we bring you raccoon earmuffs.

On the one hand, they are like wearing opossums on the side of your head. What happens when these get rained or snowed on? We bet they don't look so Jellicle all matted down & drippy. Also, how do you wear any kind of muff let alone this gargantuan, furbee-esque one & still talk on your cell phone or listen to music?

On the other hand, they do look warm & cozy. Perhaps these are the perfect accent to a simple Winter's outfit. Perhaps they show a sense of daring or whimsy. Perhaps they make a large head look smaller. (Can you tell yet that Mel is writing this?)

Mel & El tend to think of their zany faces as their permanent accessories & so try to keep the rest of their look toned down. But, who knows? Maybe a zany face benefits from a furry friend to its left & right.

Will you be wearing these when the weather gets frightful? If you do wear them, will you feel the need to name them & feed them?

Please advise.

The Cod

2010-08-30T11:30:00.019-04:00

(This is not the WASP that El is referring to, but it's still an important WASP.)

Mel: El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: I'm really glad I got back from The Cape (or as I like to call it "The Cod") in time for our show.

El: Me too. It would have sucked to do the "and El Show".

Mel: Also, I don't really belong on The Cod.

El: Why not?

Mel: Well, all of the vacationers there were very lovely & didn't gesture wildly with their hands & didn't have large facial features.

El: You mean, they were WASP-y?

Mel: Yes, but I wasn't going to say it like that.

El: Was everyone doing a lot of nouns as verbs?

Mel: What?

El: Like, did they "boat" and "bike" 'n stuff?

Mel: YES! And they called lobsters "lob-lobs".

El: How can you call it a "lob-lob" and then eat it?

Mel: Exactly!

El: Well, I'm glad you're back in a place where you can be your slightly disheveled, loud, big-mouthed self and do a show where we talk about vaginas 'n stuff.

Mel: Our show is so much more than that.

El: Sure. Sure it is.

The show is THIS THURSDAY - 3 days away - so make your res here for 3 reasons:

1. It's the most fantastic way to kick off your Labor Day Weekend.

2. You'll be the first to hear our brand new song "Facebook is Evil".

3. We promise to never say "lob-lob".

Mel & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Poppi Kramer!

Thursday, September 2nd, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

Pasta Sweaty Heaven

2010-08-23T11:30:00.001-04:00

Dearest People,

We want to admit that we have a slight fascination with Julia Roberts - the wistful looks, the teary eyes, the Muppet-sized mouth in various states of joyous laughter. Point is, we totally embraced the cliche and went to see The Movie together. We were surrounded by seven hundred and fifty other versions of ourselves - women in pairs (old ones, young ones, short ones, fat ones, rich ones, rude ones, lovely ones) who also came to bask in the glory of Pasta Sweaty Heaven or Italy India Bali or Eat Pray Love. It was all very pretty (especially the parts with Javier Bardem). We're actually working on a new show called Mel & El & Javier Bardem. Stay tuned!

(This the the picture we took of Javier after we told him about Mel & El & Javier Bardem.

We think that look means "Yes!" en Espanol.)

But in the meanwhile, you're gonna have to settle for just Mel & El on Thursday, September 2nd at Comix. In between songs like "Facebook is Evil" (debuting this month for the very first time!) and "White Lady With a Black Baby", El will tear up while she stares wistfully into your eyes & Mel will use her giant mouth to joyously cackle as if you're fake-closing a jewelry box on her hand**. We swear to Shiva, it's gonna be grand.

Make a reservation here cause it keeps selling out. And book your Birthday Group pronto (that's "right away" in Italiano) if you want us to write the Birthday Girl or Boy a special Birthday Rap.

(Eat Pray) Love,

Mel & El

** Um...that's a reference to the scene in Pretty Woman that started off the whole Julia Roberts-giant-mouth-laugh-moment that now has to happen in all of her movies (kind of like how Tom Cruise always has to have a scene where he runs ridiculously fast). If you didn't catch the reference, you've just made us feel very elderly. You'll have to make it up to us by coming to the show. Click here to make your res. You're welcome.

Mel & EL: Our Time of the Month

Really bloody funny. Period.

with special guest comedian Poppi Kramer!

Thursday, September 2nd, 7:30PM

Comix, 353 W. 14th Street, NYC

$10 (cash) at the door

Delicious food & drink available but not required

Reservations here!

Created and performed by award-winning funny femmes Melanie Adelman and Ellie Dvorkin with composer Patrick Spencer Bodd, MEL & EL: OUR TIME OF THE MONTH is a modern-day Laverne & Shirley full of dirty songs, delightful banter and devilish dish. Hailed as “outrageous” by The New York Times and “hilariously squirm inducing” by the Village Voice, MEL & EL features new material every single month along with special guests, phenomenal drink deals and a generous dose of the in-your-crotch comedy you’ve come to know and love.

Love It or Loathe It?

2010-08-16T11:00:00.003-04:00

The Ballbra

(Please know that this particular Ballbra is called "The Boxer Seaman".)

Love it or loathe it? We don't quite know.

On the one hand, why shouldn't men have the option to separate their you-know-whats from their you-know-whos? Maybe it's nice to have that choice. And we're totally Pro-Choice.

On the other hand, BARF! Honestly, we don't know which is harder to swallow (no pun...eh, forget it), the image of the product or the words "ball" and "bra" being put together in such a way. Actually, it could be worse. It could be called The Ballsbra or Your Balls Wearing a Bra. They probably ruled those out via focus group.

Does this product work for you or make you a tad queasy?

Fill. Us. In.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 12

2010-08-09T11:00:00.027-04:00

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 12

F**KNESIA \fuhk-'nee-zhuh\ noun: 1. Complete or partial memory loss of what it feels like to have sex based on the fact that you haven't had it in ages. 2. Syndrome that leads to having sex with someone who was terrible in bed the first time. Related: f**knesiac - one who suffers from f**knesia.

Last night I slept with that guy who can't get it up unless he calls me "Mommy". Please call the doctor because I've obviously come down with a case of f**knesia.

Have you ever been stricken with f**knesia? We're dying to know. Comment below or Tweet us here!

Lists

2010-08-02T12:39:00.000-04:00

(Leo, if you keep furrowing your brow, your face is gonna get stuck in that position.)

People,

Mel is in charge today & she enjoys a list. She feels it brings a bit of order to an otherwise chaotic world. She believes world peace could certainly be achieved via list. With that in mind, we bring you a nice list of things you should know about MEL & EL:

1) What a lovely compliment:

"Mel & El are twin daughters of different mothers - spooky telepathic funny and they crack my shit up." - John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Shortbus)

2) The last MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month was Standing Room Only. Mel hates standing for a show so this is your friendly reminder to click HERE to make a reservation, because the next show is THIS THURSDAY! THREE DAYS AWAY!

3) Mel & El are thrilled to be joined this month by Special Guest comedian Vicki Ferentinos! She is delightful and adorable and hilarious. And Mel & El can't wait to have her on the show.

4) If you can't make the show and feel sad on the inside, you can find electronic forms of Mel & El in the following places (Ooh! A list inside of a list! It's like Inception!):

M&E official website here
Join M&E on Twitter here
Join M&E on Facebook here
Join M&E on YouTube here
Buy the She's My Bitch CD here

5) Mel really enjoyed Inception. She thinks Leonardo DiCaprio will win "Most Consistent Brow Furrowing" and Marion Cotillard will win "How Does Anyone Actually Look Like That?"

See you at the show!

Mel & El