On Memorial Day, But For Mothers Day (Better Late Than Never)

This is just like us except for all of the ways that it is not.

Happy Memorial Day! War is a nightmare. Veterans are remarkable. Grilling is not my thing.

But I do like to do something on Memorial Day. And today I didn’t do anything particularly Memorial Day-like because I have a baby. (Drink!*)

I was supposed to meet El in the park to enjoy Nature and cheese and other wonderful things, but it was too difficult for me to coordinate with the needs of this (amazing and wonderful and I’m so grateful to have him...) newborn of mine.

I have become The Miranda in our co-defriendent relationship. Let me back up. I realize it's been tens of years since Sex and the City was a TV show, but I think many women currently in their 30's still have the habit of classifying themselves as variations on those characters. With full self-awareness and a healthy amount of self-loathing that I am even bringing this up, I share that I am now The Miranda (when she had a baby and was suddenly unable to attend brunches and fun gatherings in the easy-peasy way in which she used to and therefore felt like a totally unrecognizable version of herself and a bit of a social outcast who wore stretchy pants with flowy over-garments). Obviously, the only things that I actually have in common with Miranda are the baby, the Type A personality and the sarcasm. I am not a red-headed lawyer with a full-time nanny. And El, if we are to keep this pop-culture metaphor going, is not Samantha shoving me into a cab home with my baby, or Charlotte projecting all of her baby issues onto me or even Carrie balking at the site of my giant, lacta-boobs. Actually, she's totally the Carrie, then. But she is an awesome Carrie who is amazing with babies and does not wear skinny belts around her bare midriff.

But, people, I’m pretty sure my point is that this motherhood thing is really tricky. So I am feeling very grateful for my mother and all the moms I know who, at this moment, are doing their best to make it work. And I am very grateful for all the cool people I know without babies who try to help new moms not feel like total weirdos. And also Veterans.

Happy Mom-orial Day!

XO,

Mel

* If you came to our last show, you would understand The Baby/Boyfriend Drinking Game. If you want to learn about that and other fun things, come to OUR NEXT SHOW which is coming up on Thursday, June 14th!

Conversations While Cruising - Part 2

This is almost exactly what we wore while visiting Tunisia.

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: Tell me the one thing that has been even better than visiting Rome, Florence, Nice, Tunisia, Barcelona and Ibiza?

El: That's Bar-the-lona and Ibi-tha.

Mel: Yeah, yeah.

El: Um...the fact that you got to visit all of those places with me?

The Actual Rapture is in 10 Days!

This is one of the top images that appears if you Google "cheese, sex, correct". 

Do with it what you will.

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: We were not sucked up into the heavens during The Rapture.

Blabbin' All Over Town

Please enjoy this interview we recently did with the Philadelphia Gay News in advance of our show in New Hope this weekend for Pride!

XO

Mel & El

Hilarious duo returns for New Hope Celebrates

by Larry Nichols

Mel & El are more than happy to head back to Harlans Cabaret for New Hope Celebrates’ Pride festivities on May 15 — if, for nothing else, the menu offerings.

Known offstage as Melanie Adelman and Ellie Dvorkin, the two real-life longtime best friends have accrued a cult following in New York City, performing in some of the city’s best comedy clubs and cabarets, as well as at events like “Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad,” “The Big Gay Variety Show,” “The Miss Fag Hag Pageant” and here! TV’s “Busted.”

And if these two are as on at Harlans as they were when we talked to them, New Hope is in for one hell of a time.

PGN: How does Harlans in New Hope compare to the clubs and venues you normally play in New York City?

EL: We love Harlans!

MEL: It’s classy, it’s well-decorated and it’s just as gay as anything in The Village.

El And we have never ever seen a roach or a rodent. So in that way, it’s probably nicer than most NYC clubs.

M: And the drinks come in real glasses, not Dixie cups.

E: And they put, like, six olives in the dirty martinis.

M: And they have blue cheese mashed potatoes. Yum.

E: Yeah, Harlans is better. We like it the best!

PGN: After meeting at the age of 12, at what point did the two of you realize you we going to join forces to become the toast of New York nightlife?

M: We didn’t realize it until a few years ago. We performed together as kids, but then we went our separate ways for college. We both did the move-to-New-York-and-audition thing and had separate careers for a while, but once we decided to join forces there was no turning back.

E: I think we always wanted to perform together, but we had to gain a certain amount of experience on our own in order to really appreciate the beautiful symbiosis that’s achieved when we work together.

M: Did you really just say “symbiosis?”

E: I did. As “the toast of New York nightlife,” I stand by my vocabulary choices.

PGN: Your show has been described as “Laverne & Shirley” meets “Sex and the The City,” but are there any musicians or performing artists that you draw inspiration from for your performances?

E: We try to just be ourselves, but there are definitely performers that we love who have influenced us along the way. Funny bitches like Bette Midler and Tracey Ullman ...

M: Carol Burnett and Jane Curtin and Gilda Radner ...

E: And we love comedians who make music, like Sarah Silverman and Tenacious D and Flight of the Conchords.

M: But we’re female friends who get a little naughty, hence the Laverne & the City, Sex & the Shirley thing.

E: That was clever!

M: Thanks.

PGN: You are both performers and writers outside of Mel & El. Do the two of you work/perform more as individuals or as a duo?

E: We kinda can’t tolerate performing with anyone else anymore.

M: El! That’s not a very politically correct thing to say.

E: It’s true. I mostly hate everyone but you.

M: Yeah. Me too.

E: Well, maybe “hate” is a strong word.

M: Other people require words to communicate with each other. We’ve gotten it down to a series of winks, nods and shrugs. It’s much more efficient.

E: We’re like bushmen. You know ... with the clicking?

M: Sshh ... no more.

PGN: For the record, do either of you identify as gay?

E: Mel? Do you want to answer that?

M: I identify as bisexual, but it has been quite a while since I ... flexed that muscle.

E: I’ve never flexed that muscle, but I would if any females would ever hit on me!

M: They don’t hit on you because they know you’re straight.

E: Once this article hits the stands that’s all going to change, baby.

PGN: Are you doing anything special for your performance at New Hope’s Pride celebration?

M: Oh, yes. We’ve put together some very special surprises.

E: Mel’s going to show everyone her penis!

M: Just ignore her.

PGN: Who is the most famous person you have ever seen attending one of your performances?

E: Madonna loves our show. She often sneaks in the back wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses and dances along to the “Vogue” tribute section in our song “Fagnet.”

M: Actually, I think that’s a drag queen.

E: Actually, I think it’s this girl I know. She’s stalking us.

M: You should date her.

E: Nah. She’s not a very good dancer.

PGN: Your new CD is called “She’s My Bitch,” so ... which one of you is making that statement?

M: We’re both making it. We’re each other’s bitch.

E: It’s very complicated. Just when I’m certain that Mel is my bitch, I realize that I’m hers.

M: It’s symbiotic.

E: Look what you did with the word usage!

M: You’re welcome.

PGN: Recently you did your “Gay Married” show in New Hope. What’s next, “Couples Therapy”?

M: Actually, we just launched a brand-new regular monthly show in NYC called “Mel & El: Our Time of the Month.” But “Couples Therapy” is cute!

E: Where were you when we were naming things?

PGN: Languishing in poverty and obscurity in Philadelphia. But enough about me ... What’s the next step on your paths to superstardom?

E: We’re working on pitching our TV show idea to some networks. It’s highly confidential at the moment, but keep your fingers crossed!

M: Yeah. And if that doesn’t work out, we’re going to kill off Kathy Griffin and Tori Spelling and take over their careers. Because, you know, we kind of resemble them.

E: So if you see ads for “Tori & Kathy: Couples Therapy” on Bravo, you’ll know it’s really us.

M: But don’t tell anyone, OK?

Mel & El perform at 9 p.m. May 15 at Harlans Cabaret, 6426 Lower York Road, New Hope. 
For more information, visit www.harlanscabaret.com or call (215) 862-5225.

Cellulite-Thigh-Slappingly Funny

Mel: We got reviewed in Backstage!

El: I know. And it was GOOD!

 

Mel: It was so good, I'm gonna read it again...

Mel & El: This Show Rhymes
December 27, 2007
By David Finkle

Now that the big-screen Sex and the City shooting has wrapped, maybe well-known bosom buddies Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are thinking the best way to remain in each other's company is to put an act together. If so, what they come up with could look a lot like what 30-something childhood friends Ellie Dvorkin (the Carrie Bradshaw type) and Melanie Adelman (the Samantha Jones type) are doing for laugh meters in their often hilarious Mel & El: This Show Rhymes, well directed by Kimberly Stern, now in the middle of a crowd-pleasing Duplex Cabaret Theatre gig run.

Certainly "Get Out" (Dvorkin-Evan Toth) — a ditty in which they declare their no-strings-attached attitude toward sex with as many Mr. Right Nows as they can seduce — reflects Samantha's philosophy to a T. Their frankness about contemporary boy-girl, girl-girl, and boy-boy relationships gallops through their songs and snappy patter. Although not every number (melodies by a cadre of composers) is a solid click, no one could take much objection to "I Don't Look Like This" (Dvorkin-Stern), in which frilly-dressed, "itty bitty titty committee" El confesses her appearance is a triumph of illusion. Also connecting is the propulsive "Fagnet" (Adelman-Dvorkin-Noah Diamond-Amanda Sisk), where the longtime pals reject the term "fag hag" for their sexy selves but explain the word they have coined for their gay-male appeal.

Ever since the feminist movement kicked in, a campaign among women to achieve not only salary parity but also sexual parity has been waged. Throughout their show — which also has plenty to say about female bonding — Mel and El let it be known they're as libidinous as the next guy. So occasionally they stake their equality with language once reserved for sailors on leave, and it's merely vulgarity for vulgarity's sake. But just as frequently, they're cellulite-thigh-slappingly funny.

Mel: He really wrote nice things. 
 

El: Do you think people will read the things and come to the show?

Mel: Yes. They will read the things and then click here to make a reservation for our show THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AT 9:30!

El: They will! And when they click here they will enter the code "EXTRA VULGARITY" into the phone number box for a buy one, get one free ticket deal!

Mel: Vulgarity sells, doesn't it?

El: Hells yeah - people go see "Spring Awakening" just for the boobies and tushies.

Mel: I heart David Finkle. 

El: And he hearts you.

Carrie and Samantha,

Mel & El