Dr. Mel & Dr. El (Not Doctors)
Here to give you questionable advice about friendship, fashion and whatever the eff else.
Dear Dr. Mel & Dr. El,
I know somebody who constantly asks if this other person likes her. The trouble is that they're both of the same gender! My friend sorta feels she has a "sixth sense" about this but this is like her 3rd girl crush AND at work! She knows better not to mix work with play! It's all very dramatic at the level of the TV show GLEE and its love triangles.
Basically, I think my friend is in denial and is trying to flip it so it looks like the so-called feelings are coming from someone else towards her instead of vice versa, if that makes sense.
Is there a way I can smack some sense into her?
P.S. She wants to know if straight flirting is any different from "alternative" flirting.
P.P.S. If this or any of the above sounds offensive please forgive me and my friend's inquiry.
Anonymous
Anonymous
*****
Dr. El: Dear, Lovely Anonymous Lady, it sounds like your friend is looking for some sort of affirmation that her behavior is "normal".
Dr. Mel: Which really means she's looking for your acceptance, because we all know there's no such thing as normal.
Dr. El: Dr. Mel wouldn't know normal if it crawled out of her loofah while she was showering.
Dr. Mel: Ignore Dr. El. She is being un-doctorly as usual.
Dr. El: But we've digressed. We don't condone smacking sense into your friends, especially if they're stronger than you. They might smack back.
Dr. Mel: Instead, you might explain to your friend that in the eyes of the flirtee, there is no difference between straight flirting and "alternative" flirting. If she's confused about the impact her flirting might have, a bar is a much better place to try out her lesbian sea-legs than the workplace. I suggest Cubby Hole in NYC's West Village on Saturday Nights.
Dr. El: That's where Dr. Mel tried out HER lesbian sea-legs.
Dr. Mel: Not true at all! That was Meow Mix which doesn't even exist anymore, but...um...er...we've digressed again. Let's get to the point already!
Dr. Mel: Which really means she's looking for your acceptance, because we all know there's no such thing as normal.
Dr. El: Dr. Mel wouldn't know normal if it crawled out of her loofah while she was showering.
Dr. Mel: Ignore Dr. El. She is being un-doctorly as usual.
Dr. El: But we've digressed. We don't condone smacking sense into your friends, especially if they're stronger than you. They might smack back.
Dr. Mel: Instead, you might explain to your friend that in the eyes of the flirtee, there is no difference between straight flirting and "alternative" flirting. If she's confused about the impact her flirting might have, a bar is a much better place to try out her lesbian sea-legs than the workplace. I suggest Cubby Hole in NYC's West Village on Saturday Nights.
Dr. El: That's where Dr. Mel tried out HER lesbian sea-legs.
Dr. Mel: Not true at all! That was Meow Mix which doesn't even exist anymore, but...um...er...we've digressed again. Let's get to the point already!
Dr. El: Fine! If you want to be supportive, take your friend to a gay-friendly establishment of some sort and encourage her to try and meet someone new. Perhaps when she's surrounded by lesbians and bisexual women she will feel more confident about her feelings and she will engage in some healthy direct flirting rather than turning the office into a prime time dramedy.
Dr. Mel: Well done. I knew there was a reason we were friends.
Do you need answers to pressing questions about love and life?
Yeah, you do.
Email Dr. Mel & Dr. El at notdoctors@melandel.com
And let us know what you think of our advice, if you like, by commenting below.
We totally care what you think.
Mel earned her Doctorate from the Barnes & Noble School of Self-Help Books while El secured her degree from the University of Says Everything She Thinks. They are experts in all things except knowing how to drive a car which they both insist they are going to start working on tomorrow morning.
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