Friday, February 26, 2010

Women's Studies


"The last thing a young woman needs is another picture of a sexy pop star writhing in sand, covered in grease, touching herself. My image was an issue at my record label. I fought for months and cried at meetings. I got criticized for being arrogant because if you're sure of yourself as a woman they say you're a bitch whereas if you're a man and you're strong-willed it's normal."
- Lady GaGa tells Q magazine

Mel:  El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: This picture & quote made me giggle a bit especially because we're trying to come up with ideas for our next photo shoot.

El: Um...yeah. I'm glad that chainmail was her solution. You can barely see her tits (completely see her tits). 

Mel: I'm totally gonna wear that exact top for our next show. But in pink.

El: And I'll be covered in tar and feathers. Because that represents... something else feminist.

Mel: Totes.

(Mel & El borrowed this image & GaGa quote directly from cause that's where we saw it. Also we love Lady GaGa so don't even tryna play like we're haters.)

Monday, February 22, 2010

You're Very Welcome


This is what happens when:

A) Mel & El get way too bored with a camera.
B) El does a PNJ (pre-nosejob) impression of Frank Zappa & Mel follows suit.
C) Alcohol and sunglasses come together.
D) All of the above.

You're Very Welcome

Feel free to let us know exactly how humiliated we should be by this picture. Or send along your most humiliating photo-with-a-friend. You can comment right here on the blog, Twat us on Twitter or just frickin' email us old school style at

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dr. Mel & Dr. El (Not Doctors)

Dr. Mel & Dr. El (Not Doctors)
Here to give you questionable advice about friendship, fashion and whatever the eff else.

Dear Dr. Mel & Dr. El, 

I know somebody who constantly asks if this other person likes her. The trouble is that they're both of the same gender! My friend sorta feels she has a "sixth sense" about this but this is like her 3rd girl crush AND at work! She knows better not to mix work with play! It's all very dramatic at the level of the TV show GLEE and its love triangles.

Basically, I think my friend is in denial and is trying to flip it so it looks like the so-called feelings are coming from someone else towards her instead of vice versa, if that makes sense.

Is there a way I can smack some sense into her? 

P.S. She wants to know if straight flirting is any different from "alternative" flirting.

P.P.S. If this or any of the above sounds offensive please forgive me and my friend's inquiry.


Dr. El: Dear, Lovely Anonymous Lady, it sounds like your friend is looking for some sort of affirmation that her behavior is "normal".

Dr. Mel: Which really means she's looking for your acceptance, because we all know there's no such thing as normal.

Dr. El: Dr. Mel wouldn't know normal if it crawled out of her loofah while she was showering.

Dr. Mel: Ignore Dr. El. She is being un-doctorly as usual.

Dr. El: But we've digressed. We don't condone smacking sense into your friends, especially if they're stronger than you. They might smack back.

Dr. Mel: Instead, you might explain to your friend that in the eyes of the flirtee, there is no difference between straight flirting and "alternative" flirting. If she's confused about the impact her flirting might have, a bar is a much better place to try out her lesbian sea-legs than the workplace. I suggest Cubby Hole in NYC's West Village on Saturday Nights.

Dr. El: That's where Dr. Mel tried out HER lesbian sea-legs.

Dr. Mel: Not true at all! That was Meow Mix which doesn't even exist anymore,'ve digressed again.  Let's get to the point already!

Dr. El: Fine! If you want to be supportive, take your friend to a gay-friendly establishment of some sort and encourage her to try and meet someone new. Perhaps when she's surrounded by lesbians and bisexual women she will feel more confident about her feelings and she will engage in some healthy direct flirting rather than turning the office into a prime time dramedy.

Dr. Mel: Well done. I knew there was a reason we were friends.

Do you need answers to pressing questions about love and life? 
Yeah, you do.
Email Dr. Mel & Dr. El at

And let us know what you think of our advice, if you like, by commenting below.
We totally care what you think.

Mel earned her Doctorate from the Barnes & Noble School of Self-Help Books while El secured her degree from the University of Says Everything She Thinks. They are experts in all things except knowing how to drive a car which they both insist they are going to start working on tomorrow morning.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Love It or Loathe It?

Blue Nail Polish

Love it or loathe it? We don't quite know.  On the one hand (pun intended), El chose this color to match a very specific dress, so looking at it without its accompanying couture is unfair. But on the other hand (repeat pun intended), who cares what it once matched? We'll tell you what it DOESN'T match: her skin tone. Should we embrace the metallic cobalt or bust out the acetone pronto tonto?

We must know what you think because you are VERY important!
Leave a comment here on the blog or Tweet us by clicking here.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Vocabulary Lesson Number 8


soft nature \soft 'nay-cher\ n: euphemism for a part of one's body that is jiggly or untoned, often times the back of the arm or the area around the hips.

The shirt was super cute but I didn't buy it because it created a sausage effect on my arm due to my soft nature. I gotta get back to Pilates and fast.

(How do you feel about your soft nature? Comment below or Twiddely Tweet us here.)