Monday, March 29, 2010

Viva La Revolucion!

Hey. This is Mel. El & I are up to our ears in preparations for our big, fat Joe's Pub show this coming Sunday. It was time to be all clever 'n shiz on our blog and we realized all of our Clever Juice had been used up in our extensive rehearsals. I hate when the Clever Juice runs out and I no longer have any kind of personality. It's boring to the people around me and, mostly, my own self.

That said, I want to mention on the blog (because I don't think mentioning things via Facebook or Twitter is nearly enough) that at our show in New Hope, PA last night someone bought the "Get Out" panties off of El's...own self. She had worn them in the show and now they are in a very lovely and brave ladies house. I hope she has a washer/dryer. Or a sink. And that the panties are currently in one of those places. I don't know if the selling of the underwear officially makes us hookers or officially makes us really smart.

But that was not our only rock-star moment last night. We also had the first two people in the history of our show walk out midway through! They were older folks (which is irrelevant as many an old folk has enjoyed our business). We might have discussed some lurid details from a particular moment we experienced in a steam room during our recent gig on a Gay Cruise and that might have been a little...much....for this nice couple. I don't blame them one bit for clinging to each other for their lives and then running out. That's the exact same reaction El & I had in the steam room (clinging, running). But now we'd like to be referred to as Mel & El Guevara* because we are pretty much rabid revolutionaries. We speak our minds people. And the (geriatric) man can't keep us down no more. 

In conclusion, we are now hookers who sell our panties and political activists who will not be appreciated in our own time. It's hard to be as complex as we are, but we're coping. If you wanna cope with us live and in person, come down to Joe's Pub this coming Sunday (which is also called Easter in some circles) and join us for MEL & EL: She's My Bitch (The CD Release-A-Palooza). It's gonna change the world.

Mel (& El)

*I'm sure I just offended someone by glorifying the name of Che Guevara. But, apparently, a lot of kids on St. Marks think he's cool enough to put on a t-shirt, and I did Evita in High School and Che Guevara has a really good singing voice. Also I sat through all 18 hours of the Steven Soderbergh movie version of Che's life when it was in the movie theatre and I'm pretty sure that gives me license to toss around his name even though I still don't have a firm grasp on where he falls on the moral landscape. I'm gonna go call Mandy Patinkin and see what he thinks.

Monday, March 22, 2010

You're Very Welcome

As you learned a few days ago, we were on a Muthaf****n Gay Boat all last week. On our sojourn, we learned quite a bit, ourselves. Mostly anthropological things. Here are those things. They have been bullet pointed for your pleasure:

1) This is not a bathing suit. It's a gaything suit:

2) If one wears a gaything suit, they are bound to end up with these tan lines:

3) If a "Mel" is left in the sun too long, it becomes delirious & doesn't remember to rub in its sunscreen:

4) If an "El" is left on a gay cruise for too long & mixed with vodka, it begins to wear a sequin turban:

5) You're Very Welcome.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Love It or Loathe It?

Love it or loathe it? We don't quite know.  On the one hand, it seems like another great way to connect with people & we already have Gmail so it's all integrated into one thing. But on the other hand, holy Moses! How many options does a person need to share that they are stuck in traffic or visiting their Cousin Lucy who's a little bit crazy? Between The Facebook, The Twitter, The Blogging, The Email, The Texting, and, on occasion, the actual phone calls, we are up to our patooties with moderately interesting information. 

On the third hand, we like to inundate you with all of our comings and goings, so are we hypocrites if we don't jump on the Google Buzz Bandwagon? Will we go to Google Jail if we don't opt-in? (Cause you know they're listening right now).

We must know what you think because you are VERY important!
Leave a comment here on the blog or Tweet us by clicking here. Or use some other technology.

Monday, March 8, 2010

We're On a Muthaf*****n Boat!

We just had to share that we're on a boat. A boat, people. A big ass boat in the middle of the Caribbean. A boat filled with thousands of lovely gay men who are gay cruisin'. And we're gonna perform for them all week. We're pretty flippin' excited about it & are taking turns singing Andy Samberg's "I'm On a Boat (ft. T-Pain)" - where Mel does the rap part - and reenacting Titanic - where El uses an ax to cut Mel free from her handcuffs in the bowels of the ship. The staff has asked us to stop doing both of those things.

We're thinking about you all the time & brought our camera and FlipCam to document every bit of ridiculousness and fun. We don't know what kind of ridiculousness and fun we're gonna document sailing around the Caribbean with 2,500 shirtless gay men, but we'll do our best.

In our absence, we will survive. And if you want to bring a small piece of us into your lives to fill the void, you can do so by clicking HERE to buy our invaluable CD - Mel & El: She's My Bitch - or click HERE to get tickets to our CD Release-A-Palooza at Joe's Pub on 4/4/10. Both things are not to be missed. And if you're lucky, at the show, we'll reenact the part in Titanic where Leo sketches Kate.*

Mel & El

*That's never going to happen. But come anyway.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Vocabulary Lesson Number 9


IKYK \i-'kay-wi-kay\ abbreviation: I Know You Know. Used primarily in written form - be it Instant Message or Text Message - that lets the other party know that you know that they know a thing even though you're about to say it anyway.

IKYK but I was being bitchy yesterday b/c my boss was annoying me, not because of anything you had said.

No matter how many drinks you have, please don't mention anything to my fiancee about The Crabs Incident. IKYK. 

(What's your secret IM/Text abbreviation? Comment below or Tw-Tw-Twitter us here.)