Vocabulary Lesson Number 29

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 29

MANDY \'man-dee\ n: 1. Person who came and gave without taking. 2. A fabulous word sandwich of "man candy".

Happy Jew Year

If Dizzy Gillespie was blowing the shofar, we would totally show up at temple.

As one might know from reading their Facebook News Feed or seeing an interstitial mention of it during an early morning news program, it is the Jewish New Year. In case you didn't know, Jews have their New Year in the Fall because the weather is more manageable. You aren't schvitzing like in the Summer and you can go out and celebrate late into the night without freezing your tuchas off as you do on December 31st. And that's a fact. 

We wish you all a Happy Jew Year and offer up a few of our related Vocabulary Lessons for your enjoyment. To feel especially Jewish, try not to enjoy them too much.

JEWPERSTITION

JEWCHE

JEWBILLY

Happy New Year!

XO,

Mel & El

Vocabulary Lesson Number 28

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 28

JEWPERSTITION \'joo-per-'stish-uhn\ n: a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, that everything is dangerous and horrible and wrong. Primarily found in Jewish mothers.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 27

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 27

DRUNCLE \'druhng-kuhl\ n: obviously, a perpetually drunk uncle.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 26

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 26

FAUXFENDED \foh-'fend-id\ v: the act of being falsely upset, annoyed or resentful.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 25

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 25

FLAUGHULENCE \'flaf-yoo-'lentz\ n: the experience of unexpectedly releasing gas from one's self while enjoying a hearty laugh.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 24

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 24

EX-UAL HARASSMENT \'ek-shoo-uhl  huh-'ras-muhnt\ n: the instance where an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend repeatedly pesters you in person or via social media in an attempt to reignite the relationship or just plain irritate you.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 23

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 23

DELUSIONS OF MANDEUR \'di-'loo-zhuhnz  uhv 'man-jer\ n: a false belief (common in paranoia) that your future partner is going to be much more powerful, influential and perfect than they could ever actually be.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 22

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 22*

* Today's lesson is more of a suggestion based on the unbelievable boredom we currently feel with seeing "LOL" written ever. 
It's a New Year. We need to switch it up.

LOTO \'lot-oh\ n: acronym which stands for Laughing On The Outside most often called upon to be used during electronic communication. Variations include LOTI (Laughing On The Inside) and L (Laughing) which we believe is all that's necessary when experiencing humor. Alternatively, one could just choose to physically laugh and move on. Or write "ha".

Vocabulary Lesson Number 21

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 21

ITCHUATION \'ich-oo-'ey-shuh'n\ noun: shorthand for "itchy situation".

Vocabulary Lesson Number 20

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 20

NEGATUDE \'neg-uh-'tyood\ noun: shorthand for "negative attitude".

Vocabulary Lesson Number 19

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 19

PISSASTER \pis-'zah-'ster\ noun: when the simple act of urinating goes awry.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 18

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 18

SNARKINSON'S DISEASE \'snahr-kin-'suhnz dih-'zeez\ noun: when a person simply cannot help behaving in a sarcastic and cynical manner.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 17

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 17

SUREGASM \'shur-gaz-'uhm\ noun: A sexual partner with whom an orgasm is a sure thing.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 16

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 16

GAYJA VU \'gey-zhah 'voo\ noun: The uncanny or eerie experience of being sure you've met a particular gay man when you haven't. Or have you?

Vocabulary Lesson Number 15

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 15

BLIGHTING \'blahyt-ing\ noun: When the harsh fluorescent light in a dressing room is a blight on your self image.*

I was feeling pretty good about myself until the Bloomingdale's blighting made me look like a cottage cheese sculpture.

*For the record, we think you look fantastic all the time.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 14

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 14

JEWCHE \'joosh\ noun: 1. A person - typically male - who happens to be Jewish and is also a total douchebag.*

You couldn't pay me a million dollars to go back to Hebrew School. I simply can't function when surrounded with that high a concentration of jewches.

(This baby looks like a very nice person. It is unlikely that he will grow up to be a jewche.) 

*As we've mentioned before, we're Jewish so we feel comfortable being self-loathing, self-deprecating Jews. Please join with us in a fun way, not a Hitler-y way. Thanks.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 13

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 13

GAYGLE \'gay-guhl\ noun: 1. A group of homosexuals. 2. A bunch of boys who like boys. 3. A gaggle of gays.

When they first looked at this picture (below) of the gaygle, Mel & El figured the "ladies" in front were drag queens. Upon second look, they realized it was them.

 Are you a part of a gaygle? Do you want to be? Do you understand why a group of lesbians is not called a gaygle? (We're not sure. We just don't think it works.) Please share your feelings with us via Blogger below or on The Magical Tweet Machine!

Vocabulary Lesson Number 12

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 12

F**KNESIA \fuhk-'nee-zhuh\ noun: 1. Complete or partial memory loss of what it feels like to have sex based on the fact that you haven't had it in ages. 2. Syndrome that leads to having sex with someone who was terrible in bed the first time. Related: f**knesiac - one who suffers from f**knesia.


Last night I slept with that guy who can't get it up unless he calls me "Mommy". Please call the doctor because I've obviously come down with a case of f**knesia.

Have you ever been stricken with f**knesia? We're dying to know. Comment below or Tweet us here!

Vocabulary Lesson Number 11

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 11*

JEWBILLY \'joo-bil-ee\ noun: 1. The opposite of a JAP (Jewish American Princess). 2. Jewish people who never take regular family vacations, get their acrylics filled, own a home or have any kind of investments 3. Mel & El. Correlation: hillbilly.

I have, like, 12 relatives living in the same rented, crappy 2-bedroom apartment. Oy vey, I feel like such a jewbilly.

*Disclaimer: We're Jewish. So we get to say things like JAP & Jewbilly without being perceived as anti-semitic or racist or ethnicicist. See? Now we're making up even more words. We can't be stopped!

Comment below or Tweetre us here. But not with any Mel Gibson-like rants. Shalom.