Monday, April 12, 2010

Love It or Loathe It?

Justin Beiber
Love it or loathe it? We don't quite know.  On the one hand, he's a cute and, seemingly, sweet kid and that's kind of what pop music has always been about to some extent. 

But on the other hand, WHO IS HE?  We totally didn't receive the memo on this one.  Apparently his name is Justin Beiber (not 'Beaver' as we originally thought) and he's from Canada. We think he's 16, but his voice makes him sound like he's just entering puberty. Chick pop-sensations Britney and Miley slowly crept up on us in Disney advertising, music videos and sex tapes, and by the time they were International sensations we at least knew who people were talking about ("The girl excitedly and perpetually holding a microphone in front of her face as if she's about to turn a trick? Why, that's Hannah Montana!") Meanwhile, out of nowhere, this Justin-kid has hijacked adolescent's hairstyles to the point where they look handicapped from holding their heads at a severely cockeyed angle. (Seriously, Mel's older sister reported that a boy at her son's school had to see a chiropractor about it!) And he's doing sexy (and entirely gross but mildly funny) sketches on SNL with Tina Fey! AND, according to some sleuthing on Wikipedia, we have Usher to blame for this. But don't even get us started on Usher.

In conclusion, Justin Beiber is damaging our children's spinal columns, getting to meet Tina Fey before us and...Usher.

Are we gonna bury our heads in the sand and wait for The Beiber Fever to blow over? Or are we gonna let his overly produced pop tunes enter our sub-conscious where they will stay - in some form - until the day we die? Will we end up liking him? Will we go get an inappropriate haircut?

We must know what you think because you are VERY important and we're VERY anxious!

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jlneale said...

Ladies, you are aware of the Swagger Coach, right? Usher hired him some 23 year old kid to teach him things that have swagger. I presume the haircut/flick is one of those things. Along with saying "aight" in place of "alright" even though he's a white Canadian. This person has also reportedly taught this child "cool things like layering." Please get Googling on this, you will love it. And I saw him on Jay Leno, and he pulled up the coffee table so he could reach it better with his FOOT while he slouched back in the chair, all swagger-like.

jellykean said...

I vote sand.

Chris Ayers said...

Whatever you do, don't look him directly in the eyes. That's how he steals your soul!

Kay said...

My head was rudely yanked from the sand when a friend sent me a link to this blog.

jamisonparker91 said...

he reduces three year olds to tears!