Monday, May 2, 2011

Our Cycle Is Back On Track!

Dear Lovely People,

The next MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month is going to happen very soon. All the details are right below the only interesting interview you'll ever read with a Personal Trainer. Check out our buddy who is currently kicking our butts all over NYC and see why we actually look forward to working out these days:

A Very Serious Interview With...
Mark Fisher of Mark Fisher Fitness!

Mel & El: Our first question is not a question. Please tell our folks a little bit about yourself and the work you do.

Mark Fisher: Well, hello there Mel and El's folks! I'm a fitness professional who specializes in getting people healthy and hot.  I also specialize in dropping f-bombs because it keeps me in touch with my lower middle class Jersey Shore roots.

M&E: Did you create the "Snatched in Six Weeks" bootcamp because you love to yell at people?

MF: Actually, kinda the opposite. I don't even like people calling "Snatched" a bootcamp, because to me bootcamps imply someone yelling at people and making them workout till they puke. As you ladies both know I lovingly kick my clients' asses, but I also insist on technique because I don't want people getting injured. I like to think I'm a little more nuanced than just making people feel nauseous, 'cause let's be honest, a monkey with a stop watch making you do sprints would have no problem giving you a great "workout."

M&E: Exactly how much fun is it to touch our sweaty backs when you are doing corrections during class?

MF: It's my favorite part.  

M&E: That is the correct answer. We've read your snark-ariffic blog so we know that you don't think Spandex is for everyone and that you don't like those creepy shoes that are like gloves for your toes. These are the main reasons we like you. Why do you like us? Just kidding! (Not kidding). But, really, do you have any non-boring exercise or nutrition goodies that you'd like to share with our captive audience?

MF: Whoa, whoa, whoa!! My fashion correspondent Emily Loftiss hates the Vibrams for fashion reasons, but I actually love 'em. I know they're not stylish, but they're great for feeling the floor with your feet (which is important for geeky reasons having to do with...proprioception. Big words RULE.)  Sorry to take away the main reason you like me.

Hmm...non-boring goodies...let's see. Here's three little ditties:

1) If you hate running and it hurts your body and you're just doing it to lose fat, STOP. You'll get better fat loss results with weight training. Seriously. You look like you're speed limping and it makes my knees hurt to watch you.  Cut it out.

2) You can't out train your diet.  If you accidentally drank seven margaritas on Saturday night which led to accidentally crushing a whole pizza, you can't make up for it by training your balls off all week. Just accept you screwed up and try not to get accidentally hammered next weekend. Or eat whatever you want, but stop complaining about your body if you're never gonna actually do anything about it.  And if you're not sure what to do, I know someone you can ask (see question five).

3) If you're doing a bazillion crunches on the weighted ab machine, but not making good nutrition choices, I got some news for you: you're still not gonna have a six pack, but you ARE gonna herniate a disc in your low back. If you want to get rid of stomach fat, eat less calories and burn more calories (by doing movements that burn a lot of know the really annoying HARD ones, like squats and lunges and pushups). You can't reduce fat from a specific area by working the underlying musculature.

M&E: Now that everyone thinks you're awesome, please tell them where they can find you live and in person?

MF: Well, you could come to my apartment, but that'd be kinda weird. I guess second best would be checking me out on the interwebz at I train out of midtown Manhattan and do both traditional one-on-one personal training as well as the "Snatched in Six Weeks" group classes. All my contact info is on the site, and if you're reeeeeally cool, you'll sign up for my newsletter. It goes out once a fortnight and is chock full of knowledge for folks not obsessed with fitness who just want to feel and look good, as well as info about upcoming opportunities to get hot. Also, silly pictures.

M&E: Thank you, Mark Fisher!

Now, if you enjoyed that interview,
you're REALLY going to enjoy MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month!


When: Thursday, June 2nd at 7PM
Where: 92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street, NYC
Tickets: $15, NO food or drink minimums!

(We'll send you the fancy link to buy tickets very soon).

So, in conclusion, go put Thursday, June 2nd on your calendar for Our Time of the Month with special guest Sue Funke and tell all of your friends, family and co-workers to do the same. It will be the best thing you've ever done. Yeah...we're gonna go with that.

Mel & El

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