Monday, January 9, 2012

Bey-by Crazy

Who wouldn't want to give birth while holding hands with this person? No one wouldn't.
Mel: El?
El: Yes, Mel? 
Mel: Did you hear that Beyonce and Jay-Z had their Bey-by?
El: Well, you texted me in the middle of the night about it and woke me up so, yeah, I heard.
Mel: I'm really happy for them, but also disappointed to have lost the opportunity to give birth together.
El: Really? You legitimately thought that you'd be giving birth while holding hands with Beyonce?
Mel: Yeah. I thought our husbands would be giving us tandem shoulder massages while babies fell out of us very comfortably.
El: I appreciate your focusing on the positive but I think you may be totally delusional.
Mel: Yeah, I picture Kanye being the one doing the shoulder massages more than Jay.
El: That's exactly what I meant.
Mel: We'll just have to find another way to introduce my fetus to little Blue Whatever-Her-Name-Is.
El: I'm sure it will happen totally organically.
Mel: Yeah, it's all gonna be so great.
El: Are you high?
Mel: Nope. I'm just pregnant. I can hear the crazy words coming out of my mouth but I don't have the ability to stop them.
El: Wow. What's gonna come out of my mouth when I'm pregnant?
Mel: Maybe it will affect you the opposite way and you'll become really demure with a deep sense of appropriateness.
El: Doubt it.
Mel: Word.

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