El: I'd like to thank the Academy, my mother, and my first grade music teacher Mrs. Beebee for teaching me to always breathe with my...
Mel: El? What are you doing?
El: I'm practicing my acceptance speech for the award we just won.
Mel: Do you mean the Village Voice Best of NYC 2009 Award?
El: That's the one!
Mel: There's no awards ceremony, sweetie.
El: There isn't?
Mel: No. They just ran it in the paper.
El: Don't we get a plaque or a statue or anything?
Mel: Nope, we just get to enjoy the title.
El: But I was really looking forward to making that speech.
Mel: Save it for the next award.
El: Ok.
Mel: And you can put the hairbrush down now.
El: What hairbrush?
Mel: The one you were pretending was a trophy.
El: Nuh uh. I just had some knots.
Mel: Sure you did.
Best Advance in the World of Fag Hagdom
Performance duo Mel & El—a/k/a Melanie Adelman and Ellie Dvorkin—don't care for the term "fag hag." They feel it has acquired a sort of negative sound, as if there were something wrong with a woman wanting to cling to a gay man day and night until she passes out. They prefer "fruit fly"—or, even better, "Fagnet," which happens to be the name of their popular comedy/dance song that is a hilarious highlight of
their act ("F-A-G plus magnet equals fagnet," they chant in sisterly unity). The two have been best friends since seventh grade, but it's doubtful they were bonded in fagnetting till at least the eighth. Their goofy anthem—which they've paraded around everywhere from the Duplex to Ars Nova—has made the gays love them right back.
We had an absolute blast being the special guest performers at Vanessa's
bachelorette party last weekend. There's a pic above and our business card below so
that you or someone you know can hire us, too!
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