Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Very Breast


This is Bald Oprah. She is not her hair

For today's blog post, we direct you to another blog. (The word "blog" sounds bizarre when you say it too many times. Blog. BLOG. Blergh.)

El's cousin Steph has a brilliantly snarky attitude about her breast cancer, and we think you will enjoy reading her words. CLICK HERE and feel your feelings.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Vocabulary Lesson Number 29



MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 29

MANDY \'man-dee\ n: 1. Person who came and gave without taking. 2. A fabulous word sandwich of "man candy".

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Voting is important! Voting is sexy!

They look like they're thinking about voting.

EL: Hey, Mel?
MEL: Yes, El?
EL: It's time for a call to action. We need to get everyone to vote.
MEL: True. People think that Romney's unending gaffes are gonna be his end but there is widespread voter suppression and...
EL: I'm talking about the Broadway World Awards Nominations.
MEL: Seriously?
EL: Yeah, they just added some cabaret-esque categories and regular folks can nominate us for things.
MEL: I don't think you're supposed to ASK people to nominate you.
EL: Please! This is how the universe works! Everything is a popularity contest! Kardashians run the world!
MEL: That is so depressing.
EL: Or it's amazing! As long as we get our base FIRED UP! READY TO GO!
MEL: Please don't co-op Obama campaign language for this situation.
EL: I can't be stopped!

HERE IS WHAT TO DO:

1. Go here
2. Fill in "Mel & El" where it says "Person" in the categories where that makes sense.
3. Fill in "Mel & El: Our Time of the Month" where it says "Show" in those same categories.
4. Tell everyone you know to do the same
5. Do it again
6. Feel really good about yourself

EL: Was that so bad?
MEL: A little bit.
EL: Don't worry. We'll go do some volunteer hours right now for something important to help make up for it.
MEL: REALLY?
EL: No. We're gonna watch Kourtney and Kim Take Miami.
MEL: I hate you.
EL: You're watching it already, aren't you?
MEL: Yeah.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

We have nothing to say except...

...we would wear this dress every day. Every. Day.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Happy Jew Year

If Dizzy Gillespie was blowing the shofar, we would totally show up at temple.
As one might know from reading their Facebook News Feed or seeing an interstitial mention of it during an early morning news program, it is the Jewish New Year. In case you didn't know, Jews have their New Year in the Fall because the weather is more manageable. You aren't schvitzing like in the Summer and you can go out and celebrate late into the night without freezing your tuchas off as you do on December 31st. And that's a fact. 

We wish you all a Happy Jew Year and offer up a few of our related Vocabulary Lessons for your enjoyment. To feel especially Jewish, try not to enjoy them too much.




Happy New Year!

XO,
Mel & El

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Just Another Conversation

Not at all the drummer to which we refer.
MEL: Hey, El?
EL: Yes, Mel?
MEL: I realized today that I am such a People Pleaser.
EL: I feel like you knew that already.
MEL: You're totally right.
EL: See?
MEL: What?
EL: Forget it. Just say.
MEL: So, I'm on the subway today and those musicians came into my car.
EL: The barbershop quartet ones?
MEL: No, the Terrifying Peace and Love Drummers.
EL: Is that their actual name?
MEL: Nope. I named them that because they always shove on at rush hour with two folding chairs and two full-sized congas and proceed to play a long drum-y song.
EL: This sounds pretty standard if a bit annoying with the crowding.
MEL: But then they chastise you if you don't clap and/or smile! They're all "You don't need to tip, but after a nice song it's customary to CLAP! And it's free to SMILE".
EL: That's a lot.
MEL: I've been seeing them for years! They give off this patchouli drum circle energy and then yell at you. I want to say back "It doesn't WORK THAT WAY".
EL: Have you said anything?
MEL: Nope. The second I see them walk in the car I pull out a dollar, and I smile the entire time they perform.
EL: And don't tell me...
MEL: And then I clap.
EL: Wow.
MEL: I'm people pleasing DRUM STRANGERS.
EL: It could be worse.
MEL: How?
EL: I'll get back to you. In the meanwhile, work on being a jerk.
MEL: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU...sorry.
EL: Yeah, you'll get there.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

There is no do, there is only try.

We have really tried to get better about taking photographic evidence of our performing exploits. We so enjoy seeing all of our colleagues' rehearsal shots, backstage pictures and amazing performance videos. How is it that after this long we still walk out of every gig saying "Crap! We forgot to take a picture!"?

The other night at a gig, Mel remembered this just before we went on stage. The following are our attempts at taking said picture:

Mel & El know that "mouth open" equals "fun". Oy.





And then they tried to look "dramatic". Oy.


All of this with an image of a phone between our heads because we couldn't organize ourselves to ask one of the twenty people backstage to take it for us. We are a living, breathing example of that Far Side comic with the kid pushing the "Pull" door to the School for the Gifted.

We realize these aren't real problems. (It's not nearly as fun to blog about those!) But we just wanted to share.

We have high hopes that at Gotham Comedy Club on Wednesday we will take a respectable picture of ourselves that includes the marquee. We're setting goals, people. Yoda-style.