Free Song! (or, I Wanna Marry a What?)

So, we recorded a CD awhile back called Mel & El: She's My Bitch. You can check it out on iTunes or wherever else compact discs are electronically sold. Since then we've recorded a big, fat handful of more recent music and have decided to make it available to you super-easy-style on a site called Bandcamp. And the first song is available NOW!

You can just listen to the song for free on the site or you can download it for a buck if you wanna be able to take it with you on your iThings and such. Easy!

Our friend Chiffon Dior posted a little interview with us about it in case you aren't familiar with the origin of the song. Check out the article HERE. 

And then check out the song on Bandcamp!

#grateful

This is how Lindsay feels when she doesn't get a side dish.

El: Hey, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

Mel: Family. You?

El: Same.

Mel: It's nice that we can be with family.

El: It IS nice. But I also wish we could spend it together.

Mel: Me too, but that would be a disaster.

El: Why?

Mel: Because eating salad from Pret a Manger is not Thanksgiving.

El: Are you saying we aren't capable of doing anything fancier than grabbing healthy-branded fast food?

Mel: That is correct. And I'm not willing to give up Side Dishes.

El: As usual, you have a point.

Mel: Thanks.

El: Should we at least watch Liz & Dick while talking on the phone together on Sunday night?

Mel: Lindsay Lohan making Lifetime movies is the thing for which I am most grateful.

El: I'll take that as a yes.

Mel: Take it as a "hell yes".

El: Happy Thanksgiving, Mel.

Mel: Happy Thanksgiving, El.

We're not 12. But we act like it.

Sometimes we do gigs at places like the comedy music showcase of the New York Comedy Festival at the Ace Hotel. Apparently, when we do these gigs we tend to move our arms and legs in unison like twelve year old girls in a dance recital. Terrific.

Photos by Asa Williams

This epic week

 

There is so much important stuff happening this week. Allow us to break it down for you:

Thing 1: The Northeast was practically demolished by a hurricane. You may have heard about it. (Go here to learn lots of helpful information about how to help with the recovery).

Thing 2: It's VOTING DAY. Again, you may have heard. We're not here to tell you how to vote, except that you should totally go for the guy whose name rhymes with O'llama. (For New Yorkers, go here to learn lots of helpful information about polling stations).

Thing 3: This Friday, we're very proud to be participating in the New York Comedy Festival's first showcase of comedy music called SOLID GOLD. It features some seriously terrific talent like Jessica Delfino, Ben Lerman, Carolyn Castiglia, the Reformed Whores and more! Join us there after your busy week of voting and volunteering! It'll be THE MOST FUN!

Getting Bawdy with Mike Daisey

It's not every day we have the opportunity to get bawdy with Mike Daisey. And, really, what does that even mean? 

Join us Friday at Galapagos Art Space (our favorite places for art are Spaces) for BAWDY STORYTELLING. It has been an epically popular show on the West Coast for six years and they are debuting in NYC this week with Mr. Daisey and a bunch of other Tellers of Story! We get to be the musical guests in between all the perv-y, sex-laden anecdotes. We have no idea why they thought we would be appropriate musical guests for such a scandalous event but we'll manage to come up with something. 

Here is a link to all the details you ever wanted: ALL THE DETAILS EVER. Come along!

The Very Breast

This is Bald Oprah. She is not her hair. 

For today's blog post, we direct you to another blog. (The word "blog" sounds bizarre when you say it too many times. Blog. BLOG. Blergh.)

El's cousin Steph has a brilliantly snarky attitude about her breast cancer, and we think you will enjoy reading her words. CLICK HERE and feel your feelings.

Vocabulary Lesson Number 29

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 29

MANDY \'man-dee\ n: 1. Person who came and gave without taking. 2. A fabulous word sandwich of "man candy".

Voting is important! Voting is sexy!

They look like they're thinking about voting.

EL: Hey, Mel?

MEL: Yes, El?

EL: It's time for a call to action. We need to get everyone to vote.

MEL: True. People think that Romney's unending gaffes are gonna be his end but there is widespread voter suppression and...

EL: I'm talking about the Broadway World Awards Nominations.

MEL: Seriously?

EL: Yeah, they just added some cabaret-esque categories and regular folks can nominate us for things.

MEL: I don't think you're supposed to ASK people to nominate you.

EL: Please! This is how the universe works! Everything is a popularity contest! Kardashians run the world!

MEL: That is so depressing.

EL: Or it's amazing! As long as we get our base FIRED UP! READY TO GO!

MEL: Please don't co-op Obama campaign language for this situation.

EL: I can't be stopped!

HERE IS WHAT TO DO:

1. Go here

2. Fill in "Mel & El" where it says "Person" in the categories where that makes sense.

3. Fill in "Mel & El: Our Time of the Month" where it says "Show" in those same categories.

4. Tell everyone you know to do the same

5. Do it again

6. Feel really good about yourself

EL: Was that so bad?

MEL: A little bit.

EL: Don't worry. We'll go do some volunteer hours right now for something important to help make up for it.

MEL: REALLY?

EL: No. We're gonna watch Kourtney and Kim Take Miami.

MEL: I hate you.

EL: You're watching it already, aren't you?

MEL: Yeah.

We have nothing to say except...

...we would wear this dress every day. Every. Day.

Happy Jew Year

If Dizzy Gillespie was blowing the shofar, we would totally show up at temple.

As one might know from reading their Facebook News Feed or seeing an interstitial mention of it during an early morning news program, it is the Jewish New Year. In case you didn't know, Jews have their New Year in the Fall because the weather is more manageable. You aren't schvitzing like in the Summer and you can go out and celebrate late into the night without freezing your tuchas off as you do on December 31st. And that's a fact. 

We wish you all a Happy Jew Year and offer up a few of our related Vocabulary Lessons for your enjoyment. To feel especially Jewish, try not to enjoy them too much.

JEWPERSTITION

JEWCHE

JEWBILLY

Happy New Year!

XO,

Mel & El

Just Another Conversation

Not at all the drummer to which we refer.

MEL: Hey, El?

EL: Yes, Mel?

MEL: I realized today that I am such a People Pleaser.

EL: I feel like you knew that already.

MEL: You're totally right.

EL: See?

MEL: What?

EL: Forget it. Just say.

MEL: So, I'm on the subway today and those musicians came into my car.

EL: The barbershop quartet ones?

MEL: No, the Terrifying Peace and Love Drummers.

EL: Is that their actual name?

MEL: Nope. I named them that because they always shove on at rush hour with two folding chairs and two full-sized congas and proceed to play a long drum-y song.

EL: This sounds pretty standard if a bit annoying with the crowding.

MEL: But then they chastise you if you don't clap and/or smile! They're all "You don't need to tip, but after a nice song it's customary to CLAP! And it's free to SMILE".

EL: That's a lot.

MEL: I've been seeing them for years! They give off this patchouli drum circle energy and then yell at you. I want to say back "It doesn't WORK THAT WAY".

EL: Have you said anything?

MEL: Nope. The second I see them walk in the car I pull out a dollar, and I smile the entire time they perform.

EL: And don't tell me...

MEL: And then I clap.

EL: Wow.

MEL: I'm people pleasing DRUM STRANGERS.

EL: It could be worse.

MEL: How?

EL: I'll get back to you. In the meanwhile, work on being a jerk.

MEL: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU...sorry.

EL: Yeah, you'll get there.

There is no do, there is only try.

We have really tried to get better about taking photographic evidence of our performing exploits. We so enjoy seeing all of our colleagues' rehearsal shots, backstage pictures and amazing performance videos. How is it that after this long we still walk out of every gig saying "Crap! We forgot to take a picture!"?

The other night at a gig, Mel remembered this just before we went on stage. The following are our attempts at taking said picture:

Mel & El know that "mouth open" equals "fun". Oy.

And then they tried to look "dramatic". Oy.

All of this with an image of a phone between our heads because we couldn't organize ourselves to ask one of the twenty people backstage to take it for us. We are a living, breathing example of that Far Side comic with the kid pushing the "Pull" door to the School for the Gifted.

We realize these aren't real problems. (It's not nearly as fun to blog about those!) But we just wanted to share.

We have high hopes that at Gotham Comedy Club on Wednesday we will take a respectable picture of ourselves that includes the marquee. We're setting goals, people. Yoda-style.

Every day is HETERO Comicus day, but...

...Wednesday, September 5th is HOMO COMICUS DAY!

Come join us as we get our singing and funny on with lots of fancy comedians like Jim David, Sapna Kumar and the woman who makes our faces hurt from laughing so much JESSICA KIRSON (she's the one in the picture above who El is resting her chin on) - all hosted by the wonderful Bob Montgomery at Gotham Comedy Club.

Tickets HERE!

Drizzunk

Now that we are boring hausfraus with babies (ok, one baby), we don't get out much.  And we definitely don't party like we used to. Actually, we haven't "partied like we used to" in longer than we care to admit. In honor of our former lives, we share with you a video taken whilst performing on a gay cruise that encapsulates why it's probably best that we don't drink. Please to enjoy all of the eyelashes and slurring. Oh and language is NSFW!

Speak Up! (A Quick Survey)

It's the Mel & El Survey of 2012! Email your answers to melandel@melandel.com or leave your comments below and be entered into a drawing to win an amazing prize package the likes of which has never been seen!

We wanna know what YOU think. (Because you are very smart and special).*

1. What is your favorite NYC comedy venue?

2. What is your favorite NYC music venue?

3. What ticket price do you expect to pay for a one hour comedy music show?

4. Does a food or drink minimum deter you from going to see a live show?

5. Where would you like to see Mel & El perform?

6. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

* These are mainly NYC-centered questions, but we welcome answers from Everyone Everywhere. 

Olympics of Mel & El

This is what Mel & El do backstage after every show.

Some people train for thousands of hours to become the best swimmer or runner in the Universe and some people get exhausted just watching the Olympics on TV. Not surprisingly, we are the latter. But if there was an Olympics of Ridiculous and Fun, we would train, compete and represent the United States with slightly inappropriate songs and stories that would change the world.

In lieu of this Silly Olympics, we will be presenting Mel & El: Our Sorta Kinda Gay Time of the Month this Thursday at 92YTribeca. Contrary to the title, this show is AFS (Appropriate For Straights). So in between watching mostly naked Olympic Volleyball players hug it out every time they make a point, go getcher tickets!

It's all happening.

Gather your friends.

Let's do this, People.

(Get your tickets HERE)

With our VERY hysterical and ENTIRELY gay special guest BEN LERMAN!

INFO & TICKETS

THURSDAY, AUGUST 9TH

7PM

92YTRIBECA

MAKE YOUR RESERVATION

* And, remember, if you'd like to celebrate any kind of Life Happening (birthday, bridal shower, divorce, coming out) at the show, just bring a group of 6 or more and the Celebra-tee will receive a personalized RAP from Mel & El. It's a hoot. Email melandel@melandel.com for more details.

---

Um, also, if you are in the NYC-area and a person who likes to apply makeup to your face, we have a STRONG SUGGESTION. Check out this class with Makeup Guru Erin Williams. She's done our makeup for photo sessions (see above!), film shoots, weddings - we don't leave home without her. It's a great fun thing to do with a girlfriend or two! All the information below:

Brush Up Your Look
Thursday, August 30
6:00-8:00pm
Ripley Grier Studios, 520 8th Avenue (between 36th & 37th Streets), Floor 16, Room M
$35 per person
Limited availability of 12 spaces
Email erin@erinsfaces.com to reserve your space in the class.
PLEASE NOTE - 48 hour cancellation policy - agreed to upon signing up for the class

*Make a great first impression with makeup techniques that will help you look and feel your best for auditions, on camera work or just general tips for life in general.

*Learn how to do everything from contouring a cheek to smoking out an eye.

*Get answers to all of your makeup and skincare questions with specific product referrals.

You're already good at your makeup, wouldn't you love to be GREAT?

Vocabulary Lesson Number 28

MEL & EL VOCABULARY LESSON NUMBER 28

JEWPERSTITION \'joo-per-'stish-uhn\ n: a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, that everything is dangerous and horrible and wrong. Primarily found in Jewish mothers.

Can't we be proud in August?

You know what is almost as amazing as equal rights? Photoshop.

 

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: I missed Pride.

El: Come again?

Mel: Gay Pride. In June. I was busy...with a baby. But now I'm BACK!

El: You're BACK!

Mel: And everyone is busy being proud on Fire Island and in the Hamptons and on Atlantis Gay Cruises in the Baltic.

El: And here you are in NYC...waving a sad little rainbow flag all alone.

Mel: Correct. What's a girl to do?

El: Why don't we use our next show to express our feelings about gayness as well as lots of other stuff?

Mel: Yes! It's OUR show. And we can do whatever we like!

El: We will not be oppressed by the restrictiveness of Only-Pride-In-June!

Mel: We will have Pride in August!

El: It's a crap month if you ask me so I think we're doing a good thing by adding some spirit to it.

Mel: Great. What will we call the show to alert people to the fact that it is gay-ish?

El: How about 'Mel & El: Our HOMOSEXUAL Time of the Month'?

Mel: I think that's awkward on a lot of levels.

El: What about 'Gay Time with Mel & El'.

Mel: Please see my previous sentence.

El: I know! We'll call it 'Mel & El: Our Sorta Kinda Gay Time of the Month'!

Mel: Correct. We have a winner.

El: Now we just need to make a really gay show.

Mel: That's not gonna be difficult, El. It's always pretty gay.

El: 'Mel & El: Pretty Gay'.

Mel: Yeah.

Write it down.

Call a friend.

Let's do this, People.

(Get your tickets HERE)

With our very hysterical and entirely gay special guest BEN LERMAN!

INFO & TICKETS

THURSDAY, AUGUST 9TH

7PM

92YTRIBECA

MAKE YOUR RESERVATION

* And, remember, if you'd like to celebrate any kind of Life Happening (birthday, bridal shower, divorce, coming out) at the show, just bring a group of 6 or more and the Celebra-tee will receive a personalized RAP from Mel & El. It's a hoot. Email melandel@melandel.com for more details.

Fridays on Ice! (Nice!)

This Friday, check out Studio42's Miss Lily Gets Boned before our after-show entertainment featuring performances by Joe Iconis (Bloodsong of Love), Jon Bass (The Book of Mormon), Ariela Morgenstern (The Adding Machine), Adam Blodgett (The Cotillion) and Liz Wisan (Other Desert Cities)!

Scare Tactics!

You know what this isn't? Cookies.

We would never use scare tactics to help motivate you to come to our show unless by scare tactics you mean cookies. You have another day to enter the MEL & EL COOKIE CONTEST** (all details below)!

And, in conclusion, this Thursday!

Get your tickets HERE

With our very famous special guest Ophira Eisenberg (NPR's Ask Me Another, The Moth)

INFO & TICKETS

THURSDAY, JULY 12TH (That is so soon!)

7PM (The correct time for stories and songs!)

92YTRIBECA (A place you should go more often!)

MAKE A RES

** Enter to win "MEL & EL'S CODEFRIENDENT COOKIES" from the Mason Jar Cookie Company at our next show:

1) Purchase your ticket for MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month at 92YTribeca this coming Thurdsay, July 12th!

2) Send us an email (melandel@melandel.com) or Facebook message with your ending to the sentence "Cookies are almost as good as friends because..."

3) The best answer-er will be announced at the show and receive their mason jar of goodies.

C is for Cookies! (And Contest!)

Dear Friends,

Even though on Sesame Street they have been forced to start explaining to kids that cookies are a "sometimes" food and not something to binge on like a maniacal monster, we still love them. Cookies, that is.

In light of this cookie love, we offer you the MEL & EL COOKIE CONTEST where you can win our very own cookie blend from the Mason Jar Cookie Company called "MEL & EL'S CODEFRIENDENT COOKIES". Delicious? Delicious.

Here's how to enter to win:

1) Purchase your ticket for MEL & EL: Our Time of the Month at 92YTribeca this coming Thurdsay, July 12th!

2) Send us an email (melandel@melandel.com) or Facebook message with your ending to the sentence "Cookies are almost as good as friends because..."

3) The best answer-er will be announced at the show and receive their mason jar of goodies.

This is gonna taste so good, you guys.

Spread the word!

XO,

Mel & El

Basically, it's in a week!

Get your tickets HERE

** And - remember - if you are celebrating a special occasion,

bring a group of 6 or more to the show and you will receive a personalized RAP!

(Email melandel@melandel.com for details!) **

With special guest Ophira Eisenberg (NPR's Ask Me Another, The Moth)

INFO & TICKETS

THURSDAY, JULY 12TH (An impressive date!)

7PM (After 6! Before 8!)

92YTRIBECA (Very well air-conditioned!)

MAKE A RES AND GET ONE STEP CLOSER TO COOKIES!

 

Mel & El & Current Events

It was a simpler time.

El: Um, Mel?

Mel: Yes, El?

El: Did you hear about...

Mel: ...the fact that the Supreme Court upheld Obama's health care reform?

El: Er...yeah...but also about TomKat?!

Mel: There was no way to live and breathe and not hear about that.

El: Do you think she'll be Katie Holmes again instead of 'Kate Cruise'?

Mel: Riiiiiight. Remember when the 'Kate Cruise' memo went out?

El: I wish that if I decided to change my name that all news outlets would get some kind of fax about it.

Mel: Yeah, like "Attention all News and Entertainment Media, 'El' shall now be referred to as 'Jazz'.

El: Why would I ever change my name to 'Jazz'?

Mel: I have no idea. I was just going with a hypothetical.

El: Well, it was ridiculous.

Mel: It's five hundred degrees out. My brain is boiling. Leave me alone.

El: Fine.

Mel: Anyway, we shouldn't be joking about The Cruise Family because Xenu is watching.

El: Well, maybe Xenu and his followers would like to come to our show!

Mel: I think we're too sarcastic for Scientology.

El: Good point. Are there funny Scientologists? Only Serious Scientologists come to mind.

Mel: I need to end this conversation before we get put in Scientolo-jail.

El: But tell people that our next show is coming up soon and it's gonna be a doozer.

Mel: Really, a 'doozer'?

El: A Tom-Cruise-er!

Mel: Your brain is boiling. Be quiet.

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE,

BUT THIS THING IS HAPPENING AGAIN!

(And, apparently, it's gonna be a doozer.)

** And - remember - if you are celebrating a special occasion,

bring a group of 6 or more to the show and you will receive a personalized RAP!

(Email melandel@melandel.com for details!) **

Get your tickets HERE

With special guest Ophira Eisenberg (NPR's Ask Me Another, The Moth)

INFO & TICKETS

THURSDAY, JULY 12TH (The middle of July!)

7PM (The perfect time!)

92YTRIBECA (The best kept secret slightly below Canal Street!)

XENU SAYS "MAKE A RESERVATION"